Mary Ellen and I both enjoy reading Louise Penny’s Inspector Gamache mystery novels. In the first of the series, Still Life, Myrna, a psychologist turned book dealer, explains why she stopped taking clients and began selling books.
“I lost sympathy with many of my patients…I woke up one morning bent out of shape with this client who was forty-three but acting sixteen. Every week he’d come with the same complaints, Someone hurt me. Life is unfair. It’s not my fault.” Fort three years I’d been making suggestions and for three years he’d done nothing. Then this one day I suddenly understood. He wasn’t changing because he didn’t want to…And I realized in that same instant that, most of my clients were exactly like him.”
“Surely, though, some were trying.”
“Oh, yes. But they were the ones who got better quite quickly. Because they worked hard at it and genuinely wanted it. The others said they wanted to get better, but I think many people love their problems. Gives them all sorts of reasons for not growing up and getting on with life.”
Our colleague Dr. Debbie Silveria recently noted that we had done an excellent job of designing our practice, our website, and our work to appeal to those of you who actually want to get better, thereby sparing us from Myrna’s fate.
It also spares those of you who come to work with us from being surrounded by these same complainers, whether as staff or co-clients, and having your change process impeded by myths, labels, and programs designed to help you stay a whining immature ten year old.
No “Bucket of Crabs” for you!
Nor need you be held back any longer by spouses or other family members determined to keep you firmly trapped with them, whether they drink or not, in a death grip dance.
We believe you are quite capable of recognizing yourself, deciding for yourself, and, with a bit of encouragement and support, extricating yourself and becoming one of those who “get better quite quickly.”
Then you can leave the alcohol abuse and the crabs behind, and perhaps one or two of the other “crabs” will decide to join you in getting a grip and getting a life.
Isn’t that better than leading a “still life” of waiting – waiting for others to change?
The cost/benefit analysis of working with us.
We are the only team anywhere in the world that offers the program we designed to provide the best possible outcomes.
That means we are something of a hybrid that not everyone understands.
At the basic level, we work only with individuals and couples, more like a traditional therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist, and less like a residential program.
Yet we are a highly specialized program – alcohol abuse – and that’s more like traditional treatment or “rehab.”
We structured the program this way because it:
- guarantees confidentiality;
- saves your time;
- saves you from exposure;
- is cost effective;
- is individualized;
- promotes success;
- is affordable;
- and is “all substance, no filler.”
Most people needing help with alcohol abuse find that the typical once-a-week therapist/counselor approach is too little, especially without the medication support, and few therapists know anything about treating alcoholism.
And then the usual “rehab” program is way too much in terms of time, cost, and exposure, never mind the 95% failure rate.
So we planned a program that is focused, is made up of the components that work (Ending Alcohol Abuse: What Works) , is customized to you, and allows us to stay far ahead of the rest of the industry (Our Expanded Program Description).
No, we’re not for everyone – if, as in the excerpt above, you just want to keep on doing what you’ve always done but blame it on someone else, then keep your weekly appointments with your therapist or go off to rehab and AA. You won’t have to worry about anything changing.
Remember, as Ms. Penny added, “Life is change. If you aren’t growing and evolving you’re standing still, and the rest of the world is surging ahead.”
We state the same idea just a bit differently.
Are you a spectator in life or a participant?
We work with participants.
Your choice. Really.