Dr. Barnes and Dr. Wilson personally answer the phones from 8:00AM until 5:00PM (PST) everyday.
In U.S. & Canada: 888-541-6350
In Southern California, Nationally, or Internationally, call:
818-466-9258

Non 12 Step News for September 30, 2018

And Things Here Continue To Shake Out…

It’s interesting how things unfold once you start the ball rolling, or the dominos tumbling or whatever Rube Goldberg metaphor you prefer.
A number of you have signed up for slots, though a couple of openings remain, and we are glad that several of you are able to take advantage of work before we go into remodeling mode.

Additionally, I find that I along with the office will be moving. That’s a lot of change for me, the most since I came to California from Alaska 25 years ago. The changes are causing me a certain amount of ricocheting feeling – excitement, fear, suspense, curiosity, anxiety, and wishing it was January so I could look back and see how I managed it all.

Yes, this is relevant. In two ways.

First, there is the matter of “geographic cures” which work more often than we’re led to believe. So consider – when you relocate you will be forced to establish new habit patterns from where you shop to the route of your commute to where to find friends and activities. You will have created a window of opportunity within which you may choose to leave some habits behind and adopt new ones in their place. This can apply to people as well.

If the change is substantial, you may also leave other’s expectations of you behind.

Yes, you have a chance to reinvent yourself that is almost impossible to accomplish when we stay rooted in place.

It wasn’t for nothing that, when I quit drinking, I left Minnesota where the events that culminated in my residency in my vodka bottle occurred, and returned to Alaska where I’d never had a drinking problem (yes, I know – Alaska is infamous for drinking problems but I was, and am, still a contrarian).

Now over the next few months, I will be giving up my comfortable home and office routines in Long Beach and Palos Verdes and considering what to do with myself and our work in Calabasas and Woodland Hills. Back to the gym after a 5-year injury delay? Back to the car clubs whose activities have languished? Back to writing mysteries and romance novels and memories in addition to Newsletters and website copy?

All said I’m in the same position we recommend for you when you work with us. Consider your options. Know your circumstances. Give weight to your preferences. Pick your activities and associates. Don’t leave more behind than you have to unless it’s stuff that needs to be left.

Clean house – literally and figuratively. Make considered choices and respond to them instead of reacting in the same old ways.

Yes, we’ll help you do that, see options you didn’t realize you had, grant absolution for past mistakes, assuage fears, and hold your hand, coach, verify, and validate. What else would you want? Maybe we have a supply of that as well.

The call’s free as is the consultation. Whether you make geographic moves or engage in different aspects of your current location, change is an opportunity to create a more satisfactory life. Make the most of it.

(888) 541-6350 or (310) 541-6350

How’s Your Tolerance For Ambiguity?

When asked to define the maturation process, Dr. Jane Loevinger said it was “an increasing tolerance for ambiguity.”

Somewhat more simply stated, how much do you have to know for sure in order to be reasonably comfortable?

Do you need everything to be yes vs no; white vs black; right vs wrong; women vs men; good vs evil; or can you tolerate and process a healthy dose of “it depends?”

AA provides an excellent example of the “musts.” It must be a disease! I must be powerless (read not responsible)! The Steps must be the only way! Any discussion must be suppressed and repressed! All the very definition of zealotry.

And, therefore, AA “works” for people at that level of immaturity – pretty much pre-adolescents.

It also works for people who have used alcohol to a degree that that is the level they are functioning at.

And, at least for a while, for very conscientious people who have drunk the Kool Aid and see it as their responsibility to pass on The Word.
All of these folks are found at any AA meeting and unless you want to be inundated by waves of pressure to conform, you’d be well advised to skip anything more than a cursory tour.

Instead of joining the herd, why not free yourself from other’s opinions and live your own life? Remember, those who are “themselves” are generally happy and happy people don’t have alcohol problems.

And your choice would be?

By |2018-10-01T06:31:39+00:00October 1st, 2018|Newsletters|0 Comments

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