Our 5-Day Research Based, Outpatient, Couples’ Program For Alcohol Abuse
Basically, whether one of you has a drinking problem, or you both do, the solution is going to involve both of your or there probably won’t be a solution.
Why is that?
Alcohol abuse does not evolve in isolation. It’s not a disease – there is only mythology to support that model – but rather it’s a symptom. It’s a symptom that some underlying condition, or conditions, are being medicated rather than resolved or coped with.
That’s why the common idea that “alcohol is the problem,” and if only he, or she, would quit drinking everything would be fine, dooms most individual and couples to failure. The best outcome this notion provides is that you both end up snared in the AA/12 Step/Alanon cult never to emerge. You’ll certainly never achieve the intimate relationship you both want and deserve but don’t know how to build.
All relationships of any duration and importance create a “dance.” This is the way in which the two of you interact, respond, and act whether the moves are productive, destructive, passive, passive-aggressive, or aggressive. These habitual ways of being with each other are largely unconscious and developed from expectations you each had which you may be only vaguely aware of.
Ending alcohol abuse means changing the dysfunctional dance into a functional one. That’s why it takes both of you. As with any dance, one partner can’t change the steps without the other one having to, too. It’s either change, and grow together, or one of you will need to exit the floor.
Many of the couples we see are either involved in unbalanced relationships or believe they are. To make these relationships work we need to help you see what part you are each playing in the dynamic, what unconscious beliefs you both hold that contaminate intimacy, and how to adjust beliefs, expectations, and emotions.
All of this is done privately, confidentially, effectively, and affordably. Costs run from $12,500 to $18,500 depending on the level of service you both want and need.
Effective help must be based on a model that is supported by research, experience, individual circumstances, and needs.
That comes down to looking at you carefully to see what abilities, interests, strengths, experience, and skills you bring to the table. It also means looking at what conditions you are medicating.
The misuse of alcohol is not a disease and there is no research that supports that notion, only hucksters who’ve shouted it from the rooftops long enough and loud enough that people have come to believe it. It’s the first notion that needs to go if you are to leave the alcohol abuse behind.
The reality is that over-drinking is a symptom – a symptom that there are things in your life that are not being effectively addressed or coped with. Usually these are anxiety, depression, loneliness, unbalanced personal or professional relationships, trauma, physical or emotional pain, loss, and other conditions or events.
In the short run, meaning hours, alcohol medicates any and all of these. Hence it’s popularity. Legal, readily available, socially promoted, and inexpensive – what’s not to like?
But the relief is only very temporary and the problems are never addressed but, rather, exacerbated.
Real relief comes from learning and adding the skills, activities, and solutions to whatever problems are bedeviling you.
Again, real research provides a pallet of coping skills that enhance your life and address problems so that self-medicating is no longer needed or desired. These include:
- Brief intervention (meaning focused sessions, not sitting around AA meeting for 30 days or years);
- Assertiveness training to replace passivity and passive-aggression;
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for managing emotions;
- Diet and exercise for blood sugar management and anxiety reduction;
- Motivational enhancement to get through the rough patches;
- Habit replacement;
- Naltrexone to curb alcohol cravings;
- Deprogramming from the pervasive mythology;
- Counseling for you as a couple as needed and desired;
- Confidentiality (you don’t need the stress of this coming back to haunt you);
- Other components designed to address your specific situation.
Notice that as we do all of this, and more, that you are never exposed to another client. We do no groups. Your evaluation with our physician never enters your medical records. You will never be labeled.
You will recover and create a more satisfactory normal life with normal people and activities.