September 11, 2011 Newsletter

It would be impossible to write a September 11 Newsletter without acknowledging the events of that day. Our lives and our country have been affected by that day more than most of us realize and virtually all of the change has been negative. We’ve lost privacy, security, and freedom among other things.

But do the events of that day excuse un from responsibility for our current behaviors?

The answer to that is a resounding “NO!”

One of the problems with adopting alcohol abuse, or blaming others, as our coping mechanism of choice is that everything becomes an excuse to drink. We drink to mourn, to celebrate, to remember, to forget, to be social and to isolate.

Our lives are brief and our choices really come down to living or watching. Do you want to be a spectator in your one and only life? Or do you want to be a participant?

Over the past ten years our choices have been compromised, but we still have meaningful personal choices to make. Remember, freedom is meaningless and soon lost to those who do not exercise it. Don’t surrender your right to live to the tyranny of alcohol or “programs” that diminish your life even more.

How does our work with men and women differ, and who has better results?

While individuals differ more than gender stereotypes, there are common differences that we see between the men and women we work with.

Broadly stated, men use their time with us to slow down and reflect on whether or not what they are doing to fix their alcohol problems makes any sense. Frequently it doesn’t.

Women on the other hand, use the time to stop talking about doing something and actually move to action! Again, not mindlessly, but in ways that enhance their lives.

Both men and women suffer from the mistaken belief that they are powerless over alcohol. No single belief could be more destructive to recovery yet it’s the cornerstone of virtually all current treatment programs.

Remember, anytime you agree to be a victim, and that’s what the label of “powerless alcoholic” consigns you to, you have denied your freedom to choose. Unless you wish to remain a child, that’s no way to recover from bad choices.

Women have spent 60 years redefining their roles and personal power. Men have spent that time redefining their relationships with women. Each have ample grounds to feel victimized by each other and society but accepting victimhood never enhanced anyone’s life.

Have you made some bad, though usually understandable, choices? Yes. But don’t make another one when you seek new and better options.

When the day comes to take back your freedom to choose, when it’s time to return to being a responsible adult in the fullest sense, then the day has come to call us.

Isn’t that day today?