What is “normal”?
AA spends endless hours warning you to stay away from “Normies.” It’s something every cult does, of course, and it comes down to mind control. “Don’t think!” is the real message – just adhere to the craziness.
What’s more interesting, and relevant, is learning more about your “normal.”
Did you know that what you grew up with, no matter how good, bad, crazy, sane, supportive, abusive, or otherwise, is what you internalize as you own personal normal? Or that that internal compass directs any number of your choices, unconsciously, until you become sufficiently aware of what you’re doing to alter your patterns?
In working with you, we spend a fair amount of time upgrading your self-awareness so you are making conscious informed choices, “mindfulness” is a current buzz word, rather than repeating old dysfunctional patterns from the past.
Added to that is learning what “normal” actually looks like. Dr. Jane Loevinger, in her half century’s work in adult development, accidently defined normal and it’s important for you to see how you may differ from that. Most of our clients, and readers, are more mature than normal adults while almost all 12 Step adherents are much more immature than the usual.
No, this isn’t an esoteric point.
Becoming aware of how you differ from the crowd allows you to more effectively address loneliness, for example. You will find yourself less confused by other actions and decision making. It also lets you make parenting decisions which affect your children’s developing “personal normal.”
As usual, it comes down to what you want: a life diminished by alcohol abuse? Even more reduced by AA? Or one expanded by knowledge, skills, interests, and abilities?
Old habits? New choices?