It’s a Process!
I recently received the following email and I think the writer demonstrates what most of our clients learn over time:
“I’m 2 1/2 years out from my time shared with you two in person (the shortened 3 day period the week of Thanksgiving 2015), and 17 months out from my decision to eliminate alcohol from my diet completely.
I still read the newsletters weekly and it still resonates. I’m happier and healthier than I’ve ever been, I sleep like a baby…I could go on. Although I now see our discussions in person as a validation of what I was already thinking and knew had to happen, I still view my decision to schedule the trip as the best “investment” I’ve ever made, by a long shot. (PS I’m a Financial Advisor).
And the Naltrexone was KEY in getting over the hump. Thanks for providing an alternative to the 12 step fiasco, which I never would have embraced due to issues beyond my control (privacy and being a non-believer).
This writer reiterates the same theme another writer noted in his letter I published in the January 21st Newsletter, namely that it takes some time, choices, effort, and redirection.
It does, after all, take time to deprogram from all of AA mythology that permeates our culture, to integrate the principles of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), to develop assertiveness, to exercise control over our diets, to override drinking habits with new habits, and to engage in our lives.
Reading this client’s perspective, and reinforcing these comments by reviewing what the January 21st client had to say, you can see that, like weight loss, it is a process of modifying your life so that problems are solved, changes made and internalized, and a new and much more satisfactory life style is achieved – one that is greatly enhanced by alcohol’s much diminished role.
Note too, please, that none of this involves what we traditionally think of as “support” groups whether it’s AA, SMART Recovery, Women for Sobriety, Life Ring, or any of the other myriad alcohol focused associations. This lesson is also one that can take some adjusting to because, once again, it goes against what “everyone knows.” But if you want to lead a life unblemished by alcohol abuse then you don’t surround yourself with alcohol abusers.
Yes, you may find some brief help in one of these traditional groups but caution is necessary lest you be sucked back into the “alcohol is the problem” rather than the symptom mentality. And as many have learned to their sorrow, Kicking the 12 Step Habit, or any other group that resists your wish to eliminate the alcohol focus from your life, can be a lot harder than giving up drinking. The people who come to us for help in leaving AA, for example, would have had a much easier time if they’d come to us in the first place rather than being sucked into the black hole of “in recovery” and all of the brainwashing that goes along with that dismal destination.
It is important to remember what the writers above learned – it’s a process but you can, with some effort, patience, knowledge, and skill development, create a “new normal” that doesn’t involve alcohol, alcohol abusers, meetings, Steps, slogans, and all of the other cult trappings and dead ends that pass for “solutions” in our culture.
If you want to fix it, then let’s fix it. If you don’t, then don’t pretend. It is a choice, and it is your choice. We can help with one choice, staying stuck you can manage on your own.