Dr. Barnes and Dr. Wilson personally answer the phones from 8:00AM until 5:00PM (PST) everyday.
In U.S. & Canada: 888-541-6350
In Los Angeles: 818-466-9258

Non 12 Step News for March 24, 2013

Women and Men: Yes, There Really Are Differences In  Creating Success.

About two thirds of our clients are women and one third men. That means that over the years we have worked with over 200 women and 100 men and we have noticed differences that are generally applicable.

Examples?

Women tend to want to talk about the problem rather than actually doing something about it.

Men tend to want to do something and do things that make absolutely no sense.

If you look at the “Stages of Change” model, women often get stuck in the Planning Stage – contemplation hell in our lexicon -while men move to the Action Stage without adequate planning – the chicken with its head cut off model.

Obviously either of you could use a bit of help which is why our work takes different approaches depending on your specific tendencies – regardless of gender – and why we can also work with couples to make these differences complementary instead of being a source of sabotage.

That said, we suggest that you women indulge your planning bug with our Women’s Program description (not that you haven’t – but once more with the perspective that this time you’ll actually move to the Action Stage, at least as far as calling…geez!)

And you men could actually slow down long enough to really read about the Men’s Program and then do the Action Stage item that makes sense and call as well. (Geez to you guys, too!)

No! You couples aren’t off the hook either…and you have less excuse – one of you has done the research and one’s ready to do something so let’s get off the dime and make the call – which doesn’t even cost a dime. If you still need more mulling, then go through the Couple’s Program one more time.

Yes, Ms. you do need to DO something, and, no, Mr., you obviously can’t do it all by yourself.


Just Can’t Seem to Find 5 Days?

We created our 5 Day format for a number of reasons including allowing you to receive the maximum benefit without having to disappear for 30 or more days and automatically rat yourself out.

Besides, who actually has a month or more to leave careers, family, practices, and/or other responsibilities behind?
Of course there’s the problems with equating 30 days, or 60, or 90, with “success.” Guess what – there isn’t any correlation between time spent and good outcomes, at least not for those of you who qualify to work with us.

But you still can’t find the time?

Suppose you broke your leg, had a heart attack, ruptured your appendix, or …. Believe us, you’d find the time.

What’s the difference? The foregoing are all conditions we’d actually want to fix! No doubt about it.

But our drinking? Well that’s a different story. One day we want to fix it, the next we don’t and we teeter back and forth and never actually do anything so the status quo continues until some tipping point occurs – a spouse actually leaves; a second DUI; a set of bad lab results from our doctor; a threatened job loss, and so on.

But it really isn’t necessary to wait for disaster to strike.

Most of us know ourselves well enough to manipulate ourselves into doing what’s actually in our own long term self-interest.

The key words here are “long term.” Currently you’re operating on “short term feel good” even if that term is a little as a few hours. We’re people, it’s what we do. Until we decide otherwise.

We do have clients who actually schedule their work with us months in advance to manage themselves into doing what they know is the right thing for them. Just as we have clients who recognize the looming storm and call to schedule tomorrow.

Either way is okay with us, and, yes, you really can find the 5 days. But you knew that already, didn’t you?

By |2016-11-14T06:14:10+00:00March 25th, 2013|Newsletters|0 Comments

Leave A Comment


Important This site makes use of cookies which may contain tracking information about visitors. By continuing to browse this site you agree to our use of cookies.