We are a team who can work with couples, whether you’re both clients or not.
A recent client commented that two really helpful parts of the work we did with him were the assertiveness training and the fact that we worked with him as a team.
In the latter regard he was especially fortunate in that when he went back home he found another team of couples counselors to work with him and his estranged wife.
The result was that he learned two things very quickly: first, his drinking was, among other things, a passive-aggressive response to a very domineering wife, and second, her problems were worse than his and harder to overcome.
Confronted by those realities in their “dance” as a couple, he was able to begin to make progress in only taking responsibility for his choices while reflecting her parts of the dance back to her.
Yes, she hated the fact that much of the strife in their marriage had more to do with her controlling and abusive acting out than it did with his episodic drinking – not that that didn’t need to stop as well.
But the real key here was that Mary Ellen and I, as well as this other pair of counselors, work together with couples which eliminates the triangulation that dooms most work with a single therapist and any couple. Usually, one individual feels ganged up on, usually on the basis of gender, and storms out.
Frequently they are even right.
But with Mary Ellen and myself, each person has an advocate, with a differing perspective, and diverse histories.
I drank to excess; Mary Ellen was a family member designated to find help for her brother. I lived all over North America while Mary Ellen stayed in Southern California. Mary Ellen traveled all over the world, I’ve never been outside of the U.S. and Canada.
These and other differences between us that add up to a complex and complete whole that benefits you in any number of ways – including eliminating gender issues as an excuse for maintaining an alcohol fueled dance rather than building a new and better relationship or, occasionally, leaving one that is irrevocably destructive.
This is all part of the mosaic that we consider and take into account when we work with you. So if you’re tired of hiding behind the bottle, or being abused, or failing to have a satisfactory life and relationships, let us help you address the whole package, not just the isolated symptom that alcohol abuse represents.
Her Best Kept Secret Why Women Drink – And How They Can Regain Control
is a new book by Gabrielle Glaser that is being released by Simon & Schuster on July 2.
We are honored to have been involved in Ms. Glaser’s work and believe that our readers, men and women alike, will benefit from reading the book.
Here is the publisher’s press release and hope that you will take the time to read through this introductory material.
You can also read yesterday’s Wall Street Journal Review or watch a WSJ video interview!
Next week we will include the history of our involvement with Ms. Glaser’s work along with links to her website and to the Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and other purchase locations.
Again, our congratulations to Ms. Glaser for this important and revealing look at women, alcohol abuse, AA, 13th Stepping, and what actually works to “regain control” – not only for women, but men as well.
Please! Feel free to call or e-mail with questions and comments!