Once again I am grateful to a former client who wrote the following update we’d all be well advised to ponder upon:
“I think that “aging” has to be resisted as much as possible, even though stuff happens. In December, I had my first ever surgery. Actually, the surgery wasn’t bad and the recovery wasn’t either. What aggravated everything, however, was a really long bout of extremely painful sciatica that began around August and is only now beginning to really abate. I couldn’t walk, and exercise was difficult. What was worse was my slow realization that I had been traumatized – first by the surgery, which in fact got my attention, and then by my lack of efficient movement.
Everything was harder and slower. Younger people now became really young and I began feeling too much like an elderly guy. (Remember that moment when you finally realized that you were invisible to younger women? And ‘younger women’ are now in their 50’s?)
I read recently that one of the best things you can do as an older person is to learn something completly new, something that’s hard to learn, like a language. So, so far I’ve learned how to write swing, but I’ve other things in mind, as well.
I’ve learned you really have to have a plan. Even with surprises that modify reaching your goals (good and bad), it’s really necessary to have a destination to something other than oblivion. And, due to my medical issues of the last few months, I’ve realized that last year I was in better shape than I am now, and that it’s likely I’m in better shape now than I’ll be at this time next year.
Therefore, I can’t slide. (Which also means that both my wife and I read your Sunday blogs, because “sliding” has a lot of methods and your articles are full of interesting stuff worth thinking about.)
I’m not sure whether either you or I will be riding motorcycles when we’re 80, but with the knowledge that as one gets older one really has to work harder – much harder – than one did when he/she was young, I hope to be lucid enough and healthy enough to do the work.”
He also included a link to this article from the Guardian: Why Addiction Is Not a Disease, which is well worth your time.
Thank you Mr. B!
In the words of the possum philosopher of the swamps, Pogo, “We have met the enemy and he is us.”
As most of us know, from long experience, most of our resolve to change erodes, not from others’ interference, but from our own neglect, inattention, or, not to put too fine a point on it, laziness.
Change takes effort, a willingness to defer some gratification, paying attention, and enduring a bit of transitory discomfort. A simple example, if you start an exercise routine, initially your muscles are going to hurt for a while. It not necessarily the “no pain, no gain,” bit, it is knowing that you won’t get from where you are to where you want to be without some resolve and transitory discomfort being necessary.
One of the many reasons we work with you as individuals is that it allows us to focus on your unique strengths, abilities and interests. Thus we can help you devise a plan that will minimize the costs and maximize the benefits of change. Only you can tell us what actually motivates you which is probably several things, the combination being unique to you.
And only you know how you have succeeded and failed in the past so we can mine that information to promote your success now.
Time to avert self-sabotage? We agree. So let’s work together to figure out how to manipulate yourself in your real best self-interest instead of into continuing you own destruction, depression, and decay?