Dr. Barnes and Dr. Wilson personally answer the phones from 8:00AM until 5:00PM (PST) everyday.
In U.S. & Canada: 888-541-6350
In Southern California, Nationally, or Internationally, call:
818-466-9258

Non 12 Step News for July 7, 2019

“But I’ll Never Have Any Fun Ever Again!”

Whenever we are faced with making a needed change in our lives we usually argue ourselves out of making the change with a lot of irrational “beliefs.” One of the more common ones is that “fun” is associated solely with drinking.

Of course if you have reduced your activities to: “camping is drinking in the tent;” “skiing is drinking in the lodge;” “fishing is drinking on the boat;” “book club is drinking with the girls;” and a vacation is “drinking at the casino,” then it’s hard to remember that, maybe, there was a time when you actually enjoyed camping, hiking, skiing, and other activities – not just using them as cover for your drinking.

Then there is always sex. “But I’ve never had sober sex,” you wail, having convinced yourself that you couldn’t possibly have sex unless you got drunk first. Notice that you don’t let the idea that sober sex might be a lot better, and more fun, even creep into consciousness.

Then there are the 10,000 activities that aren’t compatible with drinking. These include everything from playing bridge to acting in the local theater, rock climbing, weight lifting, kick-boxing, antiquing, and reading. Toss in learning any new skill or activity and there isn’t a paucity of fun stuff waiting just around the corner from your favorite bar or liquor store and vineyard.

Yes, I know, you lose all of your friends. If you do, then they weren’t friends, they were drinking buddies. Currently, your “friends” are chardonnay and vodka. Add in the “friends” you pay for: bartenders, waitresses, and the people who show up for your free open bar – and that’s pretty much covers who you might lose.

Gains? Well, you might get your long-suffering spouse back once you end you affair with alcohol, which is pretty much what it is to them.

Additionally, you might find yourself doing stuff, learning new skills, enjoying long abandoned pursuits, having a few actual friends, and off-loading a crushing burden of despair.

You might even discover yourself having fun again for the first time in years. Imagine that?

I Don’t Think I Need All That Much Help…

Here’s a shocking idea. You may be right!

Again, the phony rehab industry has managed to program almost everyone into believing that you must “go away for 30, 60, 90 days or more and then attend AA for the rest of your life. Talk about a “BIG LIE.”

Our work, with good outcomes at a rate that exceeds the “Facilitated 12 Step” by a factor of 5 or more, lasts for 4 mornings plus 12 weeks of follow-up sessions. And at a cost that’s 60% to 300% cheaper. Sometimes, depending on how much deprogramming you need, even less. And if you want/need a bit more? We don’t cut you loose saying, “Don’t drink. Go to AA.”

Maybe you only want to confer and consult because you’re pretty sure you’ve worked out what you need to do, but would like some reassurance and insight. We provide that as well.

Maybe you only want to work with a woman? Dr. Mary Ellen Barnes, President and co-founder is as near as your phone and/or computer.

Just want a man? I’m here too.

A couple who needs a team that avoids the universal triangulation that dooms 90+% of couple’s counseling? We provide that option as well.
Think it’s time for his/mine/ours? Again, it’s your choice. We offer a lot of flexibility that no one, not a program or an individual can offer.

And we trust you to know what you want and need. That’s unique as well.

Yes, it takes some nerve to trust yourself and quiet the “everyone knows” voices that scream from a culture too long pickled in 12 Step brine. But you know more than you believe you do – including what’s best for you.

By |2019-07-08T05:55:46+00:00July 8th, 2019|Newsletters|0 Comments

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