When you’re both abusing alcohol….
Ending alcohol abuse is tough, tougher when you don’t have a supportive spouse, and toughest of all when you and your spouse are both abusing alcohol – the “drinking buddies” dance.
For those of you in this situation, you not only have to contend with the loss your own drinking benefits, but your partner’s benefits and the benefits you each also get from the other’s drinking, too. That’s a lot of lost benefits!
Of course the costs are also tripled, but when the benefits are immediate and the costs deferred it’s sometimes hard to remember. And when the bottle is sitting there waiting for the two of you to conspire together to get it open again, well you can imagine how that plays out all too often.
There are other common factors. One spouse, usually the man, does some of his drinking to cover up for his wife who then pretends she doesn’t have a problem because she doesn’t drink as much as he does – never mind that half as much alcohol does twice as much damage to a woman in half the time. Alcohol is not a politically correct, equal opportunity drug, when it comes to women.
In many cases drinking is also equated with sex and decreased inhibitions. Great sex without alcohol can be learned, but as with most things where alcohol is involved, we drink because it’s a quick, easy, cheap, legal fix.
Still, couples who’ve decided it’s time to enjoy real intimacy, be decent role models for their children, head off the looming costs of the three “D’s” (DUI, Divorce, Death) also do well when they are mutually supportive. That can mean a lot more fun, sex, and savings even in the very short term.
The hardest part is that each needs to focus on changing their own part of the dance and no longer agreeing to cover for the other. That takes some practice, practice that starts in the first five days you spend with us and continues through the months of follow-up.
It’s why our client couples usually succeed and it’s why other programs won’t even try to work with you.
Let us help you make a daunting task much more of a gain, for both of you and your families.
And who will your counselor be?
“The alleged drunken driver who police say struck a pedestrian and drove for more than two miles in Torrance with the dying victim stuck in her windshield has a degree in drug and alcohol counseling and manages a sober living facility, according to her own MySpace page.
Wilkins, 51, of Torrance was arrested Saturday night when horrified motorists and other citizens surrounded her car at Crenshaw Boulevard and 182nd Street. The victim, Phillip Moreno, 31, of Torrance was embedded in her windshield, but alive. He died a short time later at a hospital.”
David Lisonbee, president of Twin Town Corp., said Wilkins has been working for the Torrance center for about a year. She is among many people addicted to drugs or alcohol who choose to work in the field as counselors for others in recovery, he said.
“The holidays in particular are a very high-risk time for relapse,” he said. “No one is immune from relapsing. … We hope the people understand we are not bad people, we are sick people.”
We’re sorry, but in our view, Ms. Wilkins qualifies as a bad person making very sickening choices. She is not someone to be absolved by applying a “disease label” for a disease that doesn’t exist.
While the magnitude of this incident defies description, the use of “unrecovered counselors” is not the exception – it’s the norm in the vast majority of treatment programs across the country. A survey by an organization for AOD (Alcohol and Other Drugs) counselors found that members reported that two thirds of their “colleagues” were still abusing drugs and/or alcohol. The study was quickly and quietly buried.
Of course all of this makes sense since most facilities hire their
“graduates,” or graduates from similar programs, most of which have a 95% relapse rate.
For this “help” you will pay anywhere from $30,000 – $200,000?
Are you calling programs? Ask about staff criminal records (yes, criminal records are not uncommon in the treatment industry) and qualifications and history. Vague responses or refusals are not a good sign, but are an excellent warning.
To read the full article on the above incident, click on: