A Note For Those of You Who Were Once Clients

I know many of you have continued to read the Newsletter long after your work with us was done. Some of you do it for on-going support, or reminders, or just because. One of you writes to express his amazement that I can continue to mine the same basic information in new, interesting and creative ways.

Over the past 18 months the same could be said of our practice as Mary Ellen and I have moved away from office based to distance delivery in order to cut costs and prices and to make our services available regardless of where you live.

Now the Coronavirus is offering new challenges and opportunities.

As I wrote last week, it’s a great time to get an assessment done while both you and we are grounded.

This week I am adding, for those of you who worked with us in the past, this is a good opportunity to address issues which fell through the cracks, need readdressed, or which now can be looked at with altered perspectives and changed outcomes.

This too is a common occurrence.

Former clients frequently work with us to address a nagging issue or three. Or to hone skills that are eroding. Or just to do what most therapists do without having to start from scratch or explain the past.

Do you and your computer want to spend some time with us? Or one of us? We’re available, obviously. And since we too are sitting around with time on our hands, we’ll offer a four session package for $750 if you are a former client.

Think about it, please. We’re all likely to be locked down until at least June. What better time to update and redefine what you want you post-corona life to look like? We’re doing it and we can help you do it too.

Don’t be a Zealot

Since I published “AA: Who it Helps, Who it Harms, Who it Kills & Why,” I have been assailed by zealots from both sides: the Steppers who accuse, “You’re killing people by leading them away from the one true way!” and the Anti-Steppers who scream, “It helps no one!!!”

Of course they are both wrong.

Zealots see the world as black & white; right & wrong; good & bad; my way or the highway! But as you know, life is much more geared to “it depends.”

In doing assessments, and in the book, I rely on 35 years of work with Dr. Jane Loevinger’s Sentence Completion Test, a measure of emotional and psychology maturity. Zealotry, whether religious, nationalistic, sexist, racist, or otherwise based comes from immaturity, and no, age does not confer maturity, though that is a commonly held misconception.

Those who are “helped” by AA and/or other cults are those whose development was stunted before they acquired the coping skills necessary to a balanced life. While this is unfortunate, it is even sadder that they can’t recognize it.

Worse yet, is the influence of the even more immature ones who see aggression as the only skill necessary. Four and five year old bullies who lie, cheat, steal and assault their perceived enemies who are defined as anyone who disagree with them. You can easily recognize them and they are found in abundance in politicians, evangelicals, white supremacists, sexists, and other “ists.”

If you want to help others – those who are harmed by AA – then concentrate on publicizing alternatives, pressuring TV in particular to include real ways in which people fully recover instead of the same tired and false AA and Stepper rehabs’ myths. Can you imagine how much good might be done if Gray’s Anatomy or This is Us publicized characters who actually just recovered on their own, including some who moderated?

But at least, speak up about real solutions for real people and don’t allow the Stepper’s intimidation tactics succeed.

And as a relevant aside – hospitals are not hiding ventilators, and nurses are not stealing masks to resell. That’s the sort of claim a predator makes to distract you from reality. Don’t fall for myths or distractions.