Successful clients demonstrate, or acquire, a number of positive traits which include:
Those who succeed are very careful about what they say and think about themselves and they continuously affirm the person they want to be.
Instead of berating themselves for habits they want to change, or telling themselves that they are “powerless alcoholics” they practice positive self-awareness – noting that they have been successful in any number of endeavors and that eradicating a bad habit is just another success about to happen.
Remember, a belief in powerlessness is the #1 predictor of failure, and labeling oneself an alcoholic is #2.
Positive Daily Habits.
Probably 95% of what we do each day we do out of well established habits. These habits can be positive, negative, or benign.
Consequently, successful clients add a few carefully nurtured disciplines that they do every day, or week, that move them closer to the life they want and away from the patterns they wish to leave behind.
Do you regularly read, write, walk, work, exercise, and rest, while making sure romance and fun are included on a regular basis?
Remember, your life has to be better without the alcohol or you will go back to it.
And, please, think about the idea that happy people don’t have alcohol problems.
What would your life look like if you were actually happy?
One of the most important things we do is give people permission to be happy without being judgemental about what that looks like. We’re not a “politically correct” practice.
Positive Future Expectations.
The common word for this is “goals” or “outcomes”. We prefer “direction”.
To restate my “travels With Sophie” analogy from two weeks ago, I’m thinking about taking a road trip this year in the newly renovated TR-8 with my dog Sophie. To do so I need to select a destination in order to plan a system for achieving the desired end.
Seattle would be a great coastal drive. Minneapolis would be a nice visit to a place where I used to live. Indiana, PA would be a great drive to the annual Triumph gathering. Other possibilities would expose us to new areas geographically and culturally.
But I need to choose so I can create plans for making the trip.
Many people object to goals or destinations as too limiting. But that’s a false notion.
Suppose, for example, I decide that Sophie and I will make the coastal drive to Seattle. That lets me plan all of the details. But if part way there I decide we should stop and spend a week in Ashland, Oregon there isn’t anything to keep us from doing that.
But without the initial plan we’d never have gotten to Ashland – we’d still be moping around Palos Verdes grumbling that we never do anything (Sophie is 20 pounds of great moping).
Soooooo, be good to yourself and nice to yourself and start planning on how to elbow alcohol out of your life. You’ll do so by selecting a better destination than the one you’re now driving towards.
Many of you have asked what we thought so we might as well answer here – and most of it applies to Lindsey Lohan too, in case you wondered.
It’s pretty easy for anyone to get into trouble when too much has been given to them when they’re too young, with little effort on their part, and when they get tons of attention for all the wrong things.
And why wouldn’t they think they extra special? They have society in general telling them they are.
But being treated as special doesn’t exempt us from the pitfalls associated with a lack of mindfulness.
Unhappily, though, celebrity does exempt stars from consequences until it’s usually too late. Neither you nor I would be accorded the latitude that Lindsey and Charlie can, unfortunately for them, take for granted.
Feeling cheated? Consider for a moment if you’d really want to trade lives with either of them.
We didn’t think so.
Also consider that you have an opportunity neither of them has – you can work with us and solve your problem effectively, completely, and with absolute privacy. We suspect that’s something they too might sometimes wish for, but will never get.
Don’t waste your advantages as they have wasted theirs. Give us a call and you won’t be tempted to envy them again.