First, our thanks to all of you who wrote in to share your reasons for delaying putting an end to your alcohol abuse. You pointed out a number of important considerations which we will cover in this and the next few Newsletters.
And PLEASE! If you haven’t written to us yet – help us help everyone by doing so! Thank you! MaryEllenandEd@non12step.com
Second, ANXIETY takes the prize for the single biggest obstacle.
As another writer observed, somehow we have gotten ourselves to a point where the even normal anxiety is unacceptable and must be medicated away.
Of course this is nonsense – but it’s enough to keep many from leaving alcohol abuse behind – after all, how will I cope with anything? As if self-medication equals coping?
And commonly it comes down to anxiety about “what will my life be like without alcohol”?
One woman wondered how she could possible forego toasts at her daughters’ wedding receptions – never mind her daughters are 4 and 7. How bogus is that? But somehow she believes it, or chooses to since it saves her from stopping drinking – drinking that may well kill her long before her daughters’ weddings.
Others have alcohol abusing spouses and how can I stop drinking with him/her? That’s tough, especially when it’s the only shared activity the two of you have any more.
And what about the holidays?
Another wrote to unsubscribe stating that the Newsletters had become “too repetitious”. We thought about that, trying to see how that could be.
Then it occurred to us that what she was really saying was she was tired of the anxiety that resulted from being reminded that she had a problem, she was making choices, and she could take responsibility and fix things. She didn’t like being reminded that she was her own victim, not alcohol’s.
Another complained about the cost, though our total cost ($8,750 plus airfare and hotel) makes us far cheaper than other programs $20,000 – $200,000; individual session time: 35-45 hours vs. 4-8; professional help vs. para-professional counselors, and a 65%+ success rate vs. <5%. And, after all, it isn’t like alcohol is free.
But what actually stops you from getting the help you really want and need now?
Really, it comes down to fear of the unknown or the old “security of familiar miseries” we often mention. So far, apparently, the pain of staying the same doesn’t yet offset the fear of change.
What to do about that? Talk to us about whether or not the changes are really all that frightening, or whether you’re just scaring yourself into staying drunk.
That’s one of the most common hurdles our clients talk about – how scared they were and how groundless that turned out to be. For most of them, the anxiety began to dissipate by noon on their first day and continued to ebb over the months until nothing remained except the normal anxiety life produces.
Remember neither anxiety nor alcohol abuse are “diseases” nor do you really need the second to cope with the first.
That’s the part where we come in so give us a call and let’s see what you can do to create a real life for yourself.
A reader wrote about her experience in a 12 Step program,
I was a rebel by stating from the outset that I would only be there 30 days, despite their 90 day “minimum”. It was all we could afford, despite ____’s helpful Accts Receivable “Counselor” who offered to walk me through getting a home equity loan!!! (“What’s more important: your house or your life?”)
We hear this so often we thought we’d comment on. Frankly, whenever you hear the “What’s more important…” phrase regarding money for treatment you know you’ve run up against a con game.
Get a home equity loan? Just how is strapping yourself with another $40,000 – $200,000 in debt going to reduce the anxiety that’s already driving you to drink?
Additionally, this pushing of a false choice is one of the oldest cons going. Think about it for just a brief minute – “my house or my life”? Are those really the only two choices?
And is being in a 12 Step program going to guarantee me my life in return for my money? Hardly. Quite the opposite in most cases.
Yes, con artists prey on the vulnerable and confused, especially in crisis, and hence this ploy works for them since, after all, they are only interested in collecting your money.
Granted it’s hard to make good decisions under the stress that often coincides with getting help – but you can avoid many of the pitfalls, scams, and false hope that constitute the only offerings of the vast majority of treatment programs.
Give us a call and speak to one of us personally – yes, we answer the phone ourselves, no marketing department, hard sell, or former clients trying to stay sober and make commissions by working the phones.
Next Week’s Question to be Answered:
How can you possibly fix a problem I’ve had for years in JUST 5 DAYS???
Click to read our new program description for Couples!
Gabrielle Glaser is still seeking information for her Simon & Schuster book on Women and Alcohol. You may contact her confidentially at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Client Program Review:
A former client graciously wrote a detailed review of our work with her. Click HERE to read it.
Our Comparison Shopping issue is available here;
An expanded description of our Five Day Full Recovery Program;
And old Newsletters are archived on our website under, you guessed it, Newsletters!