Why would you want to be a “powerless victim”?
We often point out we don’t abuse alcohol because we’re dumb, or powerless, or diseased, but because it works. It’s a wonderfully effective way to very temporarily self-medicate loneliness, boredom, anxiety, and a number of other uncomfortable conditions.
That being the case, it should be obvious that we prefer to be “powerless victims” because this allows us to continue to drink rather than acknowledge that it’s a choice and assume responsibility for making choices – including electing to fix it.
That’s the key, really. Responsibility.
If I want to be a real grown up, and live my own life, then I need to take responsibility for my behaviors and their consequences, and stop being a victim.
But we live in a culture that values and rewards being a victim rather than one that esteems independence, success, effort, and self-efficacy. Especially in women. But men aren’t much better off.
So what do you want and how do you wish to live your life?
Yes, the easy way is to continue doing what you’ve always done and hope that somehow things will change. Einstein called that insanity, but that doesn’t stop many of us from opting for the “security of familiar miseries”.
The alternative? Actually creating a life that’s all your own and which suits you as much as is possible without blame, denial, or apologies.
Stop for just a moment and consider what such a life would look like and then let us help you get just as close to that as possible.
No, you’re not a powerless victim unless you decide to be.
So why not call and discuss other possibilities?
Why your doctor may refuse to help you with your alcohol abuse problem.
We had another e-mail this week informing us of yet another doctor refusing to help someone address their alcohol problem.
First, your doctor probably doesn’t know anything about alcohol abuse except that “it’s a disease and AA is the only way”. Sadly, physicians are no more immune to myths than the rest of us and many are under pressure to refer patients to hospital programs based on AA – programs with success rates in the usual 2%-3% range but which are enormously profitable.
Second, he or she probably is unaware of Naltrexone, the highly effective anti-craving med that is a really good adjunct to successful treatment – but which, as a generic, is ignored by the drug reps who provide virtually all of your doctor’s pharmaceutical education.
Third, your doctor is afraid of being sued and as long as she or he only refers you to AA they are safe even though they probably know it isn’t going to help and may, in fact, make your drinking worse.
Finally, your doctor may have personal agendas and beliefs that override their concern for your situation. Sadly, this too is a frequent problem.
Educate yourself, request a copy of our Naltrexone handout for physicians, become assertive in dealing with your doctor and, if necessary, find another doctor.
Legitimately, your doctor may also hesitate to prescribe Naltrexone unless you are also receiving counseling at the same time. Naltrexone isn’t a cure – merely a short term support while you fix whatever problems you’re self-medicating. That being the case, we will work with you and your doctor as we do with many of our clients.
Good medical support does exist as do good programs – don’t be denied help because of political and financial considerations that negatively impact your success.
We understand that it’s difficult to be informed and assertive under the weight of an alcohol problem, but there’s no other time when standing up for yourself is more important.
Do not be denied or railroaded!
Bits and Pieces….
Next weeks Question/Answer: What are the benefits of drinking?
(Yes, there are many, including a few for your spouse, some of which you may not have considered.)