Dr. Barnes and Dr. Wilson personally answer the phones from 8:00AM until 5:00PM (PST) everyday.
In U.S. & Canada: 888-541-6350
In Southern California, Nationally, or Internationally, call:
818-466-9258

April 3, 2011 Newsletter

A reader recently wrote, “I know two people who still attend AA meetings even though they stopped drinking decades ago. How did the organization replace all their other social ties? That seems to me the most pernicious part of it–denying that a primary goal is to create an addiction to AA itself that excludes many other relationships.”

Anyone who’s been around AA knows the rule about staying away from “Normies” – indeed many treatment facilities have successfully worked to create AA ghettos in neighboring communities. What’s going on here?

Research, including my own of the past 25 years, shows that AA appeals to two different groups – those whose emotional development stopped at pre-adolescent conformity and those who pray upon them. Both groups are threatened by any association with, or intrusion from, the “real world”.

Skeptical? Consider that there isn’t a single traditional treatment program in the country that welcomes real, meaningful involvement by spouses or anyone else. Isolation and indoctrination are the bywords.

Yet in our vastly more successful work, we welcome the involvement of spouses and significant others whenever the client agrees.

The difference? Our clients are interested in either creating or re-creating a real life in the real world – not in maintaining the isolation that alcohol abuse has created and sustained.

Remember, AA and Alanon are for those who wish to maintain an alcohol-centered life. Those who, following the model of ex-smokers, want to leave it behind, come to see us.

Which group do you fall into? Ready to be a “Normie” again?

 

“But What Will I Say To People???”

It’s interesting that those of us who’ve abused alcohol don’t much worry about we say to excuse that, but when it comes to quitting we can get obsessed about what other people will think.

The actual answer is, they don’t think about much at all. As long as you aren’t interfering with other people’s drinking they don’t really care whether or not you give it up.

And the less you make of the change, the less they will. Remember that you don’t need to explain anything!

Refusing a drink, or a beer or a glass of wine? No problem. Say, “I’m just getting back in shape,” or “My liver demanded a vacation,” or “too many calories when I’m losing weight,” or any of a dozen other things you decide to offer.

Please! Most hosts just want you to be happy and will gladly provide something else.

It’s only as big a deal to others as you make it! If you make it a small deal, they will too.

Yes, you will probably find yourself leaving a few activities and possibly some friends. But you will add new ones – real ones – not just drinking friends or so-called “support group” whiners.

Ready to map out the route to a real life without alcohol and depression and isolation and loneliness? Than give us a call and let’s get your show on the road!

Research, including my own of the past 25 years, shows that AA appeals to two different groups – those whose emotional development stopped at pre-adolescent conformity and those who pray upon them. Both groups are threatened by any association with, or intrusion from, the “real world”.

Skeptical? Consider that there isn’t a single traditional treatment program in the country that welcomes real, meaningful involvement by spouses or anyone else. Isolation and indoctrination are the bywords.

Yet in our vastly more successful work, we welcome the involvement of spouses and significant others whenever the client agrees.

The difference? Our clients are interested in either creating or re-creating a real life in the real world – not in maintaining the isolation that alcohol abuse has created and sustained.

Remember, AA and Alanon are for those who wish to maintain an alcohol-centered life. Those who, following the model of ex-smokers, want to leave it behind, come to see us.

Which group do you fall into? Ready to be a “Normie” again?

We Get Letters:

Dear Dr. Wilson,

I’ve been reading your newsletters for quite a while now and have corresponded with you a bit. There’s no other way to say this: the treatment model you use has already helped several people in ways I can’t begin to describe. I’ve forwarded newsletters and given people your web address who have come back to me saying how refreshing and welcome the information and approach were. It’s safe to say that you have probably profoundly helped several people whom you’ve never met.

It’s hard to imagine a more rewarding letter than that, and we thank you.

Links to Success:

Smart Women and Alcohol Abuse

“How Can You Possibly Cure My Years of Alcohol Abuse in Just 5 Days?”

The Real “Steps” to Overcoming Alcohol Abuse

Ten Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Sent My Brother Off To Rehab;

By |2016-11-14T06:14:12+00:00April 4th, 2011|Newsletters|0 Comments

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