No one else works with couples because no one else can. It’s that simple.
Yet “success” frequently depends on spouses working together to solve whatever conditions the drinker is self-medicating. It’s even more important when you’re both drinking.
So what does working with us look like?
First we work as a team – whether you are an individual or a couple. That in itself is unique and also helps insure your success.
How? You get the benefit of our experience, both personal and professional. Mine as the ex-drinker and Mary Ellen’s as the family member frustrated by dysfunctional family dynamics. When working with couples this means you each have someone who understands your part of the problem.
Obviously no one is stuck with a particular gender view point either. We are both way past gender stereotypes.
Most importantly, you will avoid the kiss of death that dooms virtually all “Couples Counseling” – the triangle that results whenever 3 people are involved in any emotional encounter.
It’s impossible to avoid. Whatever the gender of the counselor, the client of the opposite gender is always going to feel ganged-up on and, sadly, they are frequently right. Even when it’s not true, it’s a great excuse to dismiss anything that’s said or suggested and to simply walk out the door.
But when it’s four of us?
The triangulalion isn’t there, nor are the excuses. Each of you has someone who understands your part of the couple’s dynamic. Each of you has an advocate, to some degree.
We can cut through your past with all of the grievences, justified or not, and shift the focus to the present and future and what you actually want.
Alcohol abuse is a symptom. The causes may be loneliness, boredom, anxiety, depression, pain, hormonal imbalances (yes, men get those, too), or any of a dozen other things, either alone or in combination.
You can endlessly blame each other, or you can fix things, but you can’t do both.
If you’re both drinking, you very difficult to fix your problem without your spouse or partner also fixing theirs.
And we’re the only program that allows this to happen – and, as usual, the research is clear. Heal the relationship or forget leaving the alcohol abuse behind.
There are also other reasons why your spouse’s involvement is important. Your spouse or partner needs to learn how to be supportive. They also need to understand that ending your alcohol abuse is going to affect them just as your drinking did.
Many people believe the myth that life won’t change – it’ll be the same except without the drinking. That is a total fantasy. Reality? Everything will change to one degree or another.
If you want a better life, if you want to grow and change, if you want to be more self-aware and in control of how your life will change for the better, then you need to call and let us help you through the process.
Don’t let negative change and/or failure overtake you – you don’t want to be road kill on the trip to a sober and satisfactory life. You are powerful – not powerless – and you deserve a life, not a “program”. Both of you do.