Your Body Is Different,Your Emotional Triggers And Risk Factors For Alcohol
Dependency Are Different…
Shouldn’t Your Recovery Options
Be Different Too?

Dr. Barnes discusses the women’s program (running time 3 minutes 6 seconds)

Why do so many women say this alcohol treatment program is the single most powerful method they’ve found to treat the root causes of alcohol dependency?

The answer is in our distinctly different approach!

Because our first priority is always you as an individual — with hopes, needs and dreams all your own.

You may have been derailed by alcohol in the past… perhaps more than once.

But as you continue to read through this page, you will find that with a little support and encouragement it is possible to fully recover from alcohol dependency.

From: Mary Ellen Barnes

Re: Your Unique Challenge

Dear Friend,

This page of our website is a bit different from all the others.

For just a moment, I’m going to lay aside my role as a doctor and therapist. Instead, I’d like to speak directly to you — as a woman who has witnessed the damage caused by substance abuse in my own family.

As a result of what I went through, I dedicated myself to helping men and women from all walks of life who recognize — as you do — the harm alcohol abuse has inflicted on their relationships, their health, and their ability to live the life they deserve.

And as a woman who has seen first-hand the destructive consequences alcohol visits upon so many lives, I understand how easy it is to become discouraged. Especially if you’ve tried a traditional “disease-based” program to help control your drinking. Chances are, you weren’t successful.

Sadly, that isn’t surprising.

Because while some treatment programs may set aside room “for women only” — when you dig a little deeper — you’re more than likely to find they continue to use old, ineffectual, and male-dominated 12- Step models.

This Is A Double Tragedy

First, it’s a tragedy because as you know by now, the documented success rates  for 12-step models usually hover in the low 2% to 5% range. Which means that 19 out of every 20 people who enter these programs will fail.

That’s just abysmal.

Especially when you consider these programs were designed and implemented by men, for men.

If  you are seeking help, but have been disappointed by 12-step programs, please consider calling 816-541-6350. There’s no obligation whatsoever and we’re certain you’ll find the call extremely helpful!

In a moment, you’ll be introduced to a program based on the latest research in behavioral change. The reason that’s so important to remember is because when all is said done, what you want is quite simple, isn’t it?

You want to change a behavior that doesn’t work for you.

“More women need to try your approach”

“I am now doing things I’d never even have thought of.

It’s so nice to work with doctors who not only understand women’s perspectives, but also have new ideas about overcoming old behaviors”

Patti B. Torrance CA.

The second challenge for any woman who recognizes that she needs help with alcohol addiction — is that even if they were effective in treating men — these programs completely ignore the unique biological and emotional needs that must be met to successfully treat women who suffer from alcohol dependency.

We’ll discuss those needs in more detail, but beyond that kind of benign neglect of lies something even more troubling.

12-Step Programs Often Work Directly
Against What’s Best For You As A Woman

But how?

By telling you the only way to get sober and stay sober is to become powerless, to give up your personal control, and admit you have a disease that can never be cured.

Does that really make sense though? It didn’t to me when alcohol invaded my family almost 20 years ago. But at the time, there were precious few alternatives.

Fortunately though, we’ve made great strides in our understanding of how men and women react to, and… interact with, alcohol — both biologically and emotionally. This may seem obvious today, but its importance cannot be overstated.

Alcoholism Inflicts Greater Suffering On Women Than Men

You may already be aware of the significant differences that women sometimes ignore when seeking treatment for alcohol. Usually this is due to the mistaken, but still widespread belief that alcohol is an equal opportunity disease with only one cure.

But at the most basic level, men and women show sharp differences in how they absorb, process and retain alcohol.

In other words men and women “hold their liquor” very differently!

That’s but one reason why women are more susceptible to intoxication. On the other hand, women are less apt to become alcohol abusers, or addicts. When we do, the reasons are different and so are the cures.

The Differences Aren’t Just Physical

The reasons women succumb to alcohol are different as well. Most women already know that men tend to be “active drinkers.” They usually indulge — and over-indulge — in more social settings, and as an avoidance mechanism.

But did you also know that the overwhelming majority of women who are problem drinkers tend to drink alone? (No, you are not the only one!)

The key emotional difference related to solitary drinking is that as women, we tend to stew over our problems, which gets amplified by the already depressing effects alcohol has on our emotions.

Putting this all together, it becomes clear why…

12-Step Alcohol Treatment Programs Are Not Just Ineffective, They Are Potentially Dangerous To Any Hope You Have For A Full Recovery!

That’s why programs like AA, which tend to get men to slow down and act out less are exactly the opposite of what most women need!

What the significant number of women who are trapped in the downward spiral of alcohol abuse need is to embrace their personal power to change.

That allows you to actively and creatively address the underlying anger, boredom, anxiety and/or loneliness that alcohol seemed to relieve in the first place!

By seeing your alcohol dependency as a behavior, instead of a disease, you will put control of your life back in your hands.

Can you do it on your own? Generally, no. But you can choose to begin taking the small but sure steps that will lead you up from addiction and abuse to empowerment and personal responsibility for your own happiness.

You can change! And with support and follow-up, you can learn how to…

  • Properly respond to externally and internally abusive voices…
  • Consciously act to remove negativity from your life, by believing in yourself and all you have to offer…
  • Make happiness a daily habit, and seeking out activities and relationships that foster joy, instead of misery…
  • Not be afraid to love both others and yourself…
  • Adopt a healthy attitude toward the past that allows you to learn from your missteps, without punishing yourself for what you cannot change…
  • Recognize that you are capable of bringing order into chaos, not by superhuman effort, but by having a clear vision of where you wish to be, then persevering step-by-step toward it…
  • Understand the human limits we all must live under, and that you cannot solve anyone else’s problems but your own…
  • Extend compassion and mercy toward others and yourself, even when it may seem undeserved…
  • Pay attention to the beauty of your surroundings, wherever you are…

If what you’ve just read seems impossible…

This Program Was Created Just For You

“I feel like my old self again”

“All your help, counseling and follow-up has been very helpful for me, especially all your phone support. Any woman with an alcohol problem should skip the other programs and come straight to you!”

Annie W. Minneapolis, MN

If you’d like to know more about our uniquely focused program for women, call 888-541-6350

We designed this program especially to meet the alcohol treatment needs of our women clients.

But if the idea of a treatment option that exists only to help you find a personal solution to your particular situation sounds strange…

…Consider our recent client, “Linda.”

Client Case Study

Linda’s Story

Linda was 51 when her alcohol consumption began to grow.

Linda’s career peaked when she was in her 40s and she was fine with that. Her son and daughter had gone off to college and new lives of their own.

Linda liked that too.

Still, neither work nor home interested her much and with the kids gone there weren’t any distractions left to help her ignore the distance she felt from her husband of 25 years.

Linda’s life was changing.

She began to experience all of the uncomfortable physical changes, hormonal confusion, and, well, simply restlessness typical for a woman at her stage of life.

Increasingly she felt pulled between wanting to do something, (anything!), and settling into middle aged depression. With the help of her wine and liquor cabinet she seemed to be passively choosing the latter.

She’d mentioned that she was getting a little concerned about how much time she was spending drinking and her husband suggested she try an AA meeting.

She did. Once.

That was enough. She knew she didn’t have a disease, and she certainly wasn’t powerless.

Linda’s restlessness and dissatisfaction continued until she found us during one late night web browsing marathon. She called the next day, more curious than anything. After a long conversation with Mary Ellen, Linda decided that she had nothing to lose and possibly a great deal to gain by coming out to spend five days with us.

Her husband was invited but chose not to accompany her.

It didn’t take long to sort out Linda’s alcohol use.

Freed from work and parenting concerns, she found herself paralyzed in the face of all of the choices she now had.

It seemed easier to limit herself with alcohol and the almost comfortable depression that followed. But she was too smart for that to be a satisfactory long term solution. Too smart, creative, and too alive.

Ed worked with Linda to create a detailed “Baseline Assessment” with individual attention focused on her emotional and psychological development considerations.

Mary Ellen and Linda focused on developing active solutions to the real issues and stumbling blocks Linda faced as a woman. Linda also made an appointment with her OB/GYN for possible Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT).

By the third day Linda’s fearful anticipation was tempered by a sense of hope.

Longevity assessments suggested that in all likelihood she would live to be 90 and her current “real” age was closer to 44 than 51. With any luck, she had half her life left. Linda knew it was way too early to settle into permanent boredom and gloom, but she also voiced a sense of “Oh, God, what do I do now?”

At bottom, it became clear that Linda’s alcohol abuse was about quelling the anxiety associated with the feeling of avoiding “What do I do now?”.

Linda began to reframe her life. She understood that the best alternative for smart, competent people like her was to actively turn her life into her own most interesting research project.

Her driving interest was to answer how — despite her fear — could she create a new life that was more satisfactory than one centered around alcohol.

Linda’s last two days with us were ones of clarifying and designing.

What was she interested in doing… or in no longer doing? What new things did she want to try? What was working in her life… and what was not working?

She was already disengaged from her work, children, and, increasingly, her husband. Was there anything there she wanted to try and salvage and, if so, how?

What Linda learned was this…

…It’s Not About Drinking…. It’s Never Really About Drinking…

At the end of our final session Linda had looked at us and said, “We never talked much about my drinking.” “No,” we said, “Because it isn’t about drinking. Focus on that and you’ll go back to it. It’s about getting a life.”

Linda went back home with a workable plan, activities to try, topics to discuss with her husband, and a schedule of weekly phone sessions with Mary Ellen to discuss progress and all of the unexpected things that arise when people begin living their lives, running risks, learning and growing.

Time is passing, Linda is changing, and so are the people around her. It’s still scary at times, but also exhilarating. The alcohol focus is gone, as is brooding about the past. The future contains more “I wonder how I am going to turn out?” and less dreading what seemed like the unavoidable decline into a miserable old age.

Linda’s putting more attention into enjoying her life and seeing new possibilities and far less time into resenting the past and life’s missed opportunities. Long term plans and accomplishments have replaced alcohol’s short term relief.

Linda learned that life without alcohol can be uncertain. But she also has a sense of wonder and gratitude toward her life that alcohol only served to dull. And strangely, she’s more confident in herself than ever before.

It’s somewhat of a paradox that learning to live comfortably with uncertainty has instilled such confidence isn’t it?

If you’re afraid of the unknown, but know you have to get your drinking under control, call us today at 816-541-6350.

By now you have opened yourself to the possibility that just because you’ve tried another kind of treatment and failed, that doesn’t mean failure is inevitable. And that clinging to misery out of fear of change is not the kind of life you want.

That’s something I learned 20 years ago, when I discovered that the only real failure is to give up trying.

Of course, back then, there were very few options for help, and even fewer that offered a real solution to problems alcohol abuse can cause in the lives of otherwise smart, successful women.

Forgive me if I’ve stepped back into my therapist’s role, but after you’ve seen firsthand how things can turnaround in as little as 5 discovery-filled days, I hope you’ll consider picking up the phone and giving me a call.

The initiative is all on your end, as it should be. We’re not here to sell you anything, and we won’t call back unless you specifically ask us to. You have so much to gain, and nothing that’s worth keeping to lose.

Call today! 888-541-6350

Warmly,

P.S. Just imagine how full of satisfaction, self-respect and joy your life can be right now. Just like Linda! If you’re tired of missing out on the life you deserve, I urge you to pick up the phone and give me a call. 888-541-6350