"I am now doing things I'd never even have thought of. It's so nice to work with doctors who not only understands women's perspectives, but also have new ideas about overcoming old behaviors. More women need to try your approach." Patti B. Torrance CA.

"I have a better life now. I started into menopause and just started drinking more and more. The residential treatment program I went to was hopeless - a bunch of old guys telling me I had a disease! Your program really helped me and it's the best." Monica C. Palos Verdes Peninsula, CA

"I feel like my old self again. All your help, counseling and follow-up has been very helpful for me, especially all your phone support. I think any woman with an alcohol problem should skip the other programs and come straight to you!" Annie W. Minneapolis, MN

Linda's Story

Linda was 51 when her alcohol consumption began to grow.
Her career had peaked when she was in her 40s and she was fine with that; her son and daughter had gone off to college and lives of their own and she liked that too. Still, neither work nor home interested her much and with the kids gone there weren't any distractions left to help her ignore the distance she felt from her husband of 25 years.

Changes were occurring in her life
There were also all of the uncomfortable physical changes, hormonal confusion, and, well, simply restlessness. Increasingly Linda felt pulled between wanting to do something, (anything!), and settling into middle aged depression. Too many days, with the help of her wine and liquor cabinet she seemed to be passively choosing the latter.
She'd mentioned that she was getting a little concerned about how much time she was spending drinking and her husband suggested she try an AA meeting. She had. Once. That was enough. She knew she didn't have a disease, and she certainly wasn't powerless.

Linda's restlessness and dissatisfaction continued until she found us during one late night web browsing marathon. Intrigued, she called the next day, more curious than anything. After a long conversation with Mary Ellen, Linda decided that she had nothing to lose and possibly a great deal to gain by coming out to spend five days with us. Her husband was invited but chose not to accompany her.

It didn't take long to sort out Linda's alcohol use.
Freed from work and parenting concerns, she found herself afraid of all of the choices she had. It seemed easier to limit herself with alcohol and the almost comfortable depression that followed. But she was too smart for that to be a satisfactory long term solution. Too smart, creative, and, well, too alive.

Assessment work included adult emotional and psychological development considerations, Ed's specialty. Mary Ellen and Linda focused on real women's issues, stumbling blocks and active solutions to these. She was also referred to her OB/GYN for possible Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT).

By the third day Linda was smiling more, with a bit of fearful anticipation leavening her days. Longevity assessments suggested that in all likelihood she would live to be 90 and her current "real" age was closer to 44 than 51. With any luck, she had half her life left. Way too early to settle into boredom and gloom, but also filled with a lot of "Oh, God, what do I do now?"

For Linda, alcohol abuse was about avoiding "What do I do now?" and quelling the accompanying anxiety.
The best alternative for smart, competent people like her was to actively turn her life into her own most interesting research project. How, despite the fear, could she create a new life that was more satisfactory than one centered around alcohol?

Linda's last two days with us were ones of sorting and planning. What was she interested in doing? In stopping? In trying? What was working in her life? What was not working? She was already disengaged from her work, children, and, increasingly, her husband. Was there anything there she wanted to try and salvage and, if so, how?

It's Not About Drinking.
At the end of our final session Linda had looked at us and said, "We never talked much about my drinking." "No," we said, "Because it isn't about drinking. Focus on that and you'll go back to it. It's about getting a life."

Linda went back home with a workable plan, activities to try, topics to discuss with her husband, and a schedule of weekly phone sessions with Mary Ellen to discuss progress and all of the unexpected things that arise when people begin living their lives, running risks, learning and growing.

Time is passing, Linda is changing, and so are the people around her. It's still scary at times, but also exhilarating. The alcohol focus is gone, as is brooding about the past. The future contains more "I wonder how I am going to turn out?" and less dreading what seemed like the unavoidable decline into a miserable old age.

Linda's putting more attention into enjoying her life and seeing new possibilities and far less time into resenting the past and life's missed opportunities. Long term plans and accomplishments have replaced alcohol's short term relief.