Rehab Or Quit On Your Own, Which Has The Best Results?

It’s a fair question. The answer isn’t all that difficult to decide if you sort out the real options. The trouble is, when we start trying to figure out what to do we’re usually in such a mess that we don’t always make good decisions. That’s the real fly in the ointment.

So, in the interest of full disclosure, I will confess that I quit on my own when I was 41. But it took me a long time to do it. It shouldn’t have, but there wasn’t any real help available – just the same old failed Minnesota/AA/12 Step Model.

So what’s new?

Actually, over the 25 years that have elapsed since I muddled my way to a better life quite a bit has changed – not that you’d know it by visiting web sites or traditional programs or reading the industry hype.

But there have been advances in research and support and approaches. Among them:

• Naltrexone for short term relief from cravings while you get your life reassembled;
• CBT for managing emotions and behaviors;
• Assertiveness training for balancing relationships;
• Exercise and diet to combat depression;
• Motivational enhancement options;
• Social and Recreational support;
• and so on….

The result is that with a little short term help in assembling these pieces into the mosaic of factors that will work for you, you can leave alcohol abuse behind without labels, tokens, meetings, or any other pressure to dumb yourself down to the lowest common cult denominator.

So the answer to the question?

Stopping with just a bit of short term help works far better than either doing it “on your own” or “going off to rehab”.

That appeals, doesn’t it? It would have to me. It’s what we offer, it’s what you want, so what’s stopping you? Don’t let a half century of mythology and treatment-mill con games keep you from getting what’s right for you. We offer you the short term help that works!

A Follow-up Note On “Luxury”

A few of last week’s readers objected to our inclusion of “luxury” in our list of reasons for coming to work with us. I confess that I wrote that section slightly tongue in cheek, but only slightly.

Over dinner recently our colleague Dr. Tom Horvath and I were discussing how people actually decide where to go for treatment. The sad part is that for the most part it’s the luxury of the place, not the effectiveness of the program.

Why?

Most people have been conned into believing that “rehab” is something that is either done “for you” or “to you”. Therefore, as long as you’re going somewhere for 30, 60, or 90 days to be fixed by the magic of the palms, pines, waves, vortex, or higher power, then you might as well indulge yourself in all of the amenities.

If that was actually the way it worked; that would make sense, and we’d offer the same.

But of course, as you know and we know, that’s not how “it” works, and it’s why those “luxury rehab” programs have dismal success rates – rates that are usually well below doing nothing.

Really, folks, it takes effort on your part to change long established, and, let’s face it, cherished habits. We have no objection to you being as frugal or as pampered as you wish and can afford, but there’s also your part to do, so the three of us can get you out of this mess. Real “rehab” is something we do with you – not “to” or “for” – which is why what you do here, with us for 5 days, and during the 3 months of follow-up, actually does work.

So, whether it’s the Best Western on PCH or Terranea Resort, whether you prefer to spent $100/night or $500/night it’s okay with us.

What we want you to remember is, that like alcohol abuse itself, this too is a choice, and the choices are always yours.

Once again! Powerless, diseased victim or fully healthy and completely recovered person? What’s your preference and whose number are you going to call?

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius and power. Begin it now.” ~ Goethe

“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.” ~ Walt Disney

Links to Success:

Our Expanded Program Description
“How Can You Possibly Cure My Years of Alcohol Abuse in Just 5 Days?”
The Real “Steps” to Overcoming Alcohol Abuse
Smart Women and Alcohol Abuse
Ten Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Sent My Brother Off To Rehab;

We offer all of the following:

• Luxury!
• Privacy!
• Confidentiality!
• Individuality!
• Effectiveness!
• Affordability!

What more could you ask for?

That’s right – we offer everything anyone else claims to, but in much less time, and at far less cost, much more choice – all under your control – not some program’s control – and with successful outcome rates ten to twenty times higher.

We know it’s easy to make those claims but we’re prepared to back them up, one at a time.

Luxury? Your choice because you choose where to stay at whatever level of comfort, price, and amenities you prefer. So take your pick from:

The Tarranea Resort
the Palos Verdes Premier Luxury Destination
or
The Portofino Hotel and Yacht Club
Luxury Right on the Beach in Redondo Beach
or
The Torrance Marriott South Bay
Luxury Next to the Del Amo Super Mall
or
The Best Western Redondo Beach
Affordable Luxury by the Riviera Village and Beach
or
Dozens of other choices we’d be glad to discuss with you.

Privacy and Confidentiality!

Really now, you want to fix you problem privately, quietly, and without a bunch of gossip, whispering, or people sabotaging your success. That’s not going to happen if you disappear for 30, 60, or 90 days.

It’s not going to happen if you go to AA which hasn’t been “anonymous” for over 40 years. It isn’t going to happen in residential or outpatient programs where you’re exposed in groups, which is all they offer.

But here? You only work with us and our physician Dr. Norcross – with whom you have a single private appointment we pay for with no paper trail to come back and haunt you.  The biggest “group” would be us and possibly your spouse – or anyone else you might choose to include.

No, you won’t be wasting any time or money in groups with people with whom you have absolutely nothing in common. Groups whose only function is to give programs cheap ways to fill time with meaningless activities.

Individuality!

Every other program is based on groups, not because it works, but because it’s a cheap way to fill time. The only time “group treatment for alcoholism” is going to work for you is if you are AA material and, if you are, well, you don’t need to go to treatment, you need to go to AA.

We, on the other hand, only work with individuals, couples, and, occasionally, families. No wasted time, no breaches of confidentiality, no one else’s baggage and no problems other than alcohol to focus on.

That’s right. It’s about you, your unique circumstances, and your custom designed solutions.

It’s  also about your strengths, interests, abilities, successes, and competence – not some mythological disease, powerlessness, and magic.

Effectiveness!

Our clients have the highest success rates of any program in the U.S. and Canada. Why? Because we are based on you, the current research, and what we have learned over the past 25 years of working with clients in many different settings and programs.

Your success is mainly a product of a program built around you. And it’s built around creating a life, not avoiding life. You will succeed because you are focusing on doing things, not counting up days of not doing things.

Really – do you want to spend you time collecting experiences or do you want to waste your time adding up the days you didn’t do things?

Remember, most programs are bult on AA and AA only has a 3% long term “success” rate!

Affordability!

Typically, treatment programs run anywhere from $30,000 to $75,000, most of which is spent on filler that has nothing to do with you.

Throw in airfare and hotel and we come in around $10,000 for anyone from across the U.S. or Canada, less if you are local to the Los Angeles area.

Why so much cheaper? The big reason is, NO FILLER! Every hour you spend with us is directly related to you and your situation. We don’t have to charge you for things you don’t want, don’t need, and have no bearing on your success.

Most of our clients report that they have saved the cost of the program in less than a year, many in less that 6 months. That’s an excellent return on investment.

Thank of it this way – should you spend $30,000 for a 30 days program with a 5% success rate, that exposes you as an alcoholic even if you aren’t, substantially reduces your control over your own life, and labels you forever?

Or should you invest $10,000 and a week that allows you to confidentially address a problem with a 70% success rate, no labels, no exposure, and complete control on your part?

Not to mention that you also get a life?

To Summarize:

We offer the most effective and least intrusive alcohol treatment program in the country. We welcome you as a competent individual and we accommodate your need to maintain your responsibilities, privacy, and schedules. We welcome the participation of your spouse or partner if you so desire, and you will have time to maintain your professional and personal obligations. Please bring your cell phone, laptop, and whatever else you need to facilitate maintaining your life and reputation!

(If you are a golfer, bring your clubs! The beautiful Los Verdes Public Course is only ten minutes away – and Trump National only fifteen!)

For more detailed information you can click here for:

Our Expanded Program Description

More Links to Success:

Smart Women and Alcohol Abuse

“How Can You Possibly Cure My Years of Alcohol Abuse in Just 5 Days?”

Ten Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Sent My Brother Off To Rehab;

Couples!

Several times a year we work with couples who both have alcohol problems (as we also do with couples where only one is the “designated client”). We can do this very effectively when no one else can.

Why?

First, because we work as a team. If you’ve every been to “couples counseling” you know that it almost immediately degenerates into a two on one blame session and whoever is “it” storms out never to return again. But with us that triangulation problem never comes up.

Another pont is that between us we have the “roles” covered too. I used to have the alcohol problem and Mary Ellen got to be the concerned family member designated to find help for her brother.

Next, alcohol abuse always exists within a context and spouses are, after all, a major component of anyone’s day-to-day living. You can’t fix your drinking problem without changing the way you live your life and that means, as spouses, you either change together, go your separate ways, or keep on drinking.

If you want to end the alcohol abuse then spouses have to be part of the solution, or there isn’t going to be one.

Why don’t other programs include spouses? Or treat couples?

For one thing it takes smart, skilled, interested staff – not just a bunch of former clients leading AA meetings masquerading as “treatment”.

For another, you actually have to want clients to succeed, which isn’t part of the “treatment mill” business model.

It also means you can’t do groups which are great time fillers, money makers, and minamize client success.

If you actually want to fix the problems, then we think it’s clear that you’re best served by being treated as a couple as well as individually. Undistracted by groups, and acquiring the tools that actually work (ie, CBT, Naltrexone, Assertiveness Training, Motivational Enhancement, Diet, Exercise, Hormone Therapy, etc.) will enhance your success.

Whether or not you both have a problem with alcohol, we welcome the chance to work with you to create a lasting solution that makes life better for you individually and as a couple.

That is what you want, isn’t it?

No need to wait, either one of you can make that first call – or you can call together.

Perimenopause, Menopause, and Alcohol Abuse…

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that many of the women we work with are in their 40s and 50s and find themselves drifting into alcohol abuse when hormone levels begin to decline.

That’s right, informal hormone replacement therapy with Chardonnay.

As usual, however, the process makes perfect sense and has nothing to do with being dumb, diseased, or “powerless”. It’s simply a reasonable and logical result of doing what makes you feel better.

For some of you, this can also be exacerbated by the use of alcohol to manage blood sugar levels. Again, many women tend to starve themselves throughout the day and then find that a glass of wine after 3:00 results in immediate relief from all sorts of niggling physical symptoms.

Really, who wouldn’t indulge in a quick fix in such an agreeable and socially acceptable form? After all, it’s “just one glass…”

There really isn’t any mystery in all of this. After all,

• Alcohol goes to estrogen receptors so that feels better;
• Alcohol is pre-digested sugar and immediately restores drooping blood sugar levels;
• Alcohol lowers anxiety.

What’s not to like about any of that? At least until this quick, easy, fix turns into a long difficult problem. Then isn’t it time for a logical solution? A real solution? Your own solution?

Thoughts On The Gym

“A gym is not designed to make you feel instantly better about yourself. If a gym wanted to make you feel instantly better about yourself, it would be a bar.” ~ Jason Gay

Links to Success:

Our Expanded Program Description

“How Can You Possibly Cure My Years of Alcohol Abuse in Just 5 Days?”

Ten Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Sent My Brother Off To Rehab;

Confidentiality and why you want to avoid residential treatment and groups of all kinds.

The Bucket of Crabs or Why AA and Al-Anon are Bad For Your Health.

A recent client from Chicago said:

“I visited dozens of websites before I called you. I called because yours was the only one that actually told me how you propose to help me, and the only one to tell me the cost!”

He went on to note six other important points:

• When I called, I actually talked to both of you. Not some volunteer, flunky, client, or marketing department;
• When I was in L.A. on business you met with me at no charge to further discuss whether you were the right match for me;
• You’re both very smart – no one I talked to in any of the traditional programs was;
• As promised, there was no pressure, no pitch, no magic, no crap!
• You’ve both been available for follow-up as you said you would be;
• I think you’re the only people around who actually provide what you say you will.

Those are all points we think are important, and we think you should too, and, yes, no one else offers any of that.

Those really are the things that callers and clients like. Not to mention that we do actually refer people to effective research based residential programs when it’s appropriate.

Please remember that what we do actually works for over 70% of our clients, as compared to 5% of those who opt for AA/12 Step programs.

No, calling us does not obligate you in any way. We are happy to discuss possibilities, options, and to have the chance to get to know you a bit as you get to know us.

Yes, you’re welcome to schedule a no cost, no hustle, visit. In fact, we encourage it! Again, that’s something almost no one else does because the last thing they want is for you to get a glimpse of what they actually offer – which usually turns out to be NOTHING YOU COULDN’T GET FOR FREE AT AN AA MEETING NEAR YOU!!!

Happily for you, and for us, that’s not the case here, and we are proud of our work, our clients, and their successes. You could be one of those successes, too.

Just over two years ago, a woman with an extremely limited time frame came to see us for three very intense days just before Thanksgiving. In a recent e-mail she noted,

“I’m doing great, thank God, and due in large part to my brief time with you and Ed.  I hear you two inside of my head all of the time.” -S.J., 61

In a year or two, or five, you could be the one sending that greeting. Will you be?

Who are our clients?

With 2011 now behind us, we like to look back and see who our clients are. Adding information from previous years, we see that:

•     you range in age from 20 and 80, but most of you are between 40 and 65;
•     you come from across the U.S. and Canada, but also Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and the Philippines;
•     you are doctors, lawyers, actors, writers, composers, business owners, executives, artists, TV personalities, educators, athletes, diplomats, mothers and fathers, and, yes, adult children;
•     you are successful, self-aware, responsible, and ready to implement whatever it takes to root out your alcohol abuse.
•     you are very smart;
•     you have a great sense of humor;
•     you are a pleasure to get to know;
•     because of the foregoing, you are the most successful clients – by far – of any program in North America;

We thank you for the opportunity to work with you as you achieve freedom from alcohol abuse.

For those of you waiting for your turn, we’re waiting to hear from you too!

Links to Success:

Our Expanded Program Description
“How Can You Possibly Cure My Years of Alcohol Abuse in Just 5 Days?”
Ten Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Sent My Brother Off To Rehab;

Confidentiality and why you want to avoid residential treatment and groups of all kinds.
The Bucket of Crabs or Why AA and Al-Anon are Bad For Your Health.

Think!

Mary Ellen writes:

  “A week before Christmas my brother Jim, was diagnosed with a very extensive cancer. We don’t know the type of cancer yet, but we do know that the tumors are large and in many organs. He hardly had any symptoms at all, so this was a real shock to him and to all of us in the family.

He went from assuming he would live a long and interesting life, like our parents have, to thinking very seriously about end-of-life issues.  I am not sharing this for any sympathy, but to make sure you all realize how very fragile our lives really are.

Many of you read our newsletter every week. For some of you that may be all the help you ever need. For others, you may be assuming that there is lots of time to fix your drinking problem and start living again, so you wait and think about getting help.

You haven’t called – you assume there’s always time for that.  I want to tell you that the time is now. Don’t wait any longer. Make your life really count. Start living again.”

We can still help you. Give us a call now.

How much of 2011′s baggage do you really want to take along into 2012?

You postponed fixing you alcohol problem all through 2011 (not to mention 2010, 2009, …) and, as of last night, ran it into 2012 – something you said you weren’t going to do. Perhaps it’s finally time to do what Hemingway suggested and “do sober what you always said you’d do when you were drunk” and quit?

Or, as he further suggested, “keep your mouth shut”?

And remember, “Papa” killed himself in an Idaho bathtub after alcohol destroyed him creatively and physically. He was only 60 at the time.

This really is a problem you can overcome. You can outdo Hemingway,William Faulkner, Dorothy Parker, Hunter Thompson, Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin, and a gazillion other smart successful people who were just too damn scared and/or lazy to manage their own lives.

Or they may have believed that the only option was the even worse death by AA.

But you know better.

So before you lose another year that’s only just started…

Links to Success:

Our Expanded Program Description

“How Can You Possibly Cure My Years of Alcohol Abuse in Just 5 Days?”

Smart Women and Alcohol Abuse

Merry Christmas!

Our favorite holiday videos

First, Jingle Bell Goats

Then: T-Mobile’s Fun

And now…our gift to you – The Great Question:
Who is in charge of your life?

Yes, it’s a personal question – but it’s the most important one we can each ask and answer. Please consider the following:

It’s Christmas once again, and the New Year lies just a week away, and this season always brings questions:

• Where did the year go?
• What did I accomplish?
• What problems continue?
• What problems got worse?
• Why didn’t I fix what I said I would?
• How can the upcoming year be different?

As you think through these questions about the past year, isn’t it time to also consider how you have disappointed yourself, and others, by failing to resolve problems you could have fixed?

No, we’re not trying to play the Grinch on your Christmas morning. You may already have done that and don’t need our help in any case.

We are suggesting that you don’t have to continue to be miserable, or to add misery to those around you.

The alternative is to consider the answers to a couple of other questions:

• Who am I becoming?
• Where am I going?

Chances are your alcohol abuse has you avoiding those two questions as best you can. You probably fear that the answers are:

• I’m becoming a powerless alcoholic.
• I’m going down the drain.

We all know that’s the conventional “wisdom” even though there isn’t a shred of evidence that that’s your future unless it’s the future you choose!

The truth?

• More so than at any time in history you are in charge of your life.
• More so than ever before, you have an array of resources available to you to help address almost any problem you encounter.
• Yes, that includes alcohol abuse.

This is all true, but, sadly, there aren’t any magic cures or answers. There is, however, plenty of slow, steady, long-term change that happens on-purpose when we assume responsibility for our lives and choices.

Yes, you are changing and evolving, all of the time. Age and circumstances, like tide and time, wait for none of us. We are not the same people we were a year ago – nor will be the same a year from now.

The question is, who will we be? Will we be better, or will we allow ourselves to slip away? Will we make active choices or passive ones?

Who’s really in charge of your life? That’s right. You are! Isn’t it time you got back to being good at it?

And, yes, one of us does answer the phone personally, even on Christmas.

How Is AA/12 Step Treatment Supposed to Work?

If you understand how a treatment program is designed to “work” you’ll have a better idea as to whether or not it’s apt to work for you.

In the case of traditional treatment, or even the typical “90 meetings in 90 days” admonitions, the theory is pretty simple and predicated pretty much on old style military basic training.

Take an individual, isolate them, scare them, break them down to functioning at about the age of 12, indoctrinate them into the “cult,” and keep them at that ridgedly conformist level forever.

As research has shown, AA “works” for those whose emotional development has been arrested at or before the age of 12. In the model developed by Jane Loevinger, Ph.D. of Washington University in St. Louis, these are the folks who do indeed score at the Self-Protective and Conformist levels, and who find comfort in cults.

Take a look at most U.S. and Canadian treatment programs and you will see how this plays out. First you’re isolated from family, friends, home, and community. Then you’re beaten down with requirements that you “admit you are a powerless alcoholic.”

You are next immersed into your new supposed peer group – the AA meeting – and warned to avoid spouses, families, “normies” and so on.

After being intimidated, abused, harassed, hazed, and financially (and sometimes sexually) exploited you are released and told, “don’t drink; go to AA.”

If all of that appeals to you, be our guest. You’re clearly not the sorts of clients we work with.

If, on the other hand, you are a smart, independent adult who wishes to GROW, NOT REGRESS, then you’re reading the right Newsletter.

That pretty much sums up your choices -
Shrink with AA, or Grow with Us.

If your preference is the latter then why aren’t you calling?

Links to Success:

Our Expanded Program Description

“How Can You Possibly Cure My Years of Alcohol Abuse in Just 5 Days?”

The Real “Steps” to Overcoming Alcohol Abuse

Smart Women and Alcohol Abuse

Ten Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Sent My Brother Off To Rehab;

With the holidays nearly upon us, we are coming into the most stressful time of the year for many people.

Over-drinking goes hand-in-hand with stress and attempts at stress reduction. But with alcohol the stress gets worse and ratchets up the stress in other family members, who usually make sure you know about it.

Why not try something different this holiday season? If lots of parties stress you out, don’t go to so many of them. If family members stress you out, why not go away for the holiday, or decline family invitations, or strictly limit the time spent with these people.

I know, you couldn’t do that, they’re family!

But really, who says you can’t? You are an adult and it’s time to start thinking about spending your finite time on this earth in ways that make you happy and relaxed, rather than pleasing everybody else.

At the end of the day, this is your life, the only one you have. Drinking your way through the holidays and your life, because you “have to” is no way to live.

So think about it. Isn’t it time to live, really live, rather than just exist? Drinking too much isn’t living; it is just being a spectator in your one and only life.

It still isn’t too late to fix things for this year, and all of the years ahead. Give us a call and come to sunny Southern California for the holidays and a healing vacation.

Naltrexone

Naltrexone isn’t a magic bullet but it does help over 70% of our clients alter their drinking behaviors undistracted by alcohol cravings.

Other nice aspects of Naltrexone include the fact that it doesn’t interact with other medications (except opioid pain meds), it’s cheap, not an aversive (like Antabuse), and effective (unlike Campral).

So why doesn’t your doctor prescribe it?

Mostly because he or she doesn’t know about it and is loathe to confess to this ignorance. Even when they have heard about it they tend to be misinformed and instead listen to drug reps who push Campral which is an ineffectual but high profit medication compared to the no-profit generic Naltrexone.

Even if your doctor is one of the rare informed physicians, they may be reluctant to prescribe unless you are in some sort of “program”. That’s a problem since most AA/12 Step based programs are against medical support that actually helps you. Remember, traditional treatment programs have a vested interest in you failing and continuing to be recycled through the industries’ revolving doors.

Alternatives?

It does come down to the same very few choices. We work with you along side the physician we work with. Come to see us and you will get appropriate med support along with approaches that actually work (for a review of what actually works see our article in the August 14 Newsletter).

Want a bit more information? E-mail us and we’ll be happy to send you our handout on Naltrexone.

Or give us a call and let’s talk about what will really work for you and how you can get started!

Links to Success:

Our Expanded Program Description

“How Can You Possibly Cure My Years of Alcohol Abuse in Just 5 Days?”

The Real “Steps” to Overcoming Alcohol Abuse

Smart Women and Alcohol Abuse

Ten Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Sent My Brother Off To Rehab;

The Bucket of Crabs or Why AA and Al-Anon are Bad For Your Health.

Damn it, Scruffy!
Get Your Head Out Of The Sand!!

Mary Ellen’s Scruffy is a great office dog, but he’s a lousy role model.

Isn’t it time you stopped emulating him and started getting a life?

So come on! Give us a call and come on out and let   Scruffy do what he does best, give you his famous  Wheaten Greetin’.

AA – Does It Work?

This question crops up in Google searches all of the time – along with similar questions regarding CBT, Graham Crackers, and a dozen other possibilities.

The problem?

Reality is that everything, including AA and Graham Crackers, “works” for somebody.

The real question you should be asking with any approach is “will it work for me?”

In the case of AA, are you one of the 3% for whom AA offers a long term solution? Are you very immature? Do you like group activities and rituals? Or are you hyper-conscientious and want to protect vulnerable “sheep” from 13th Stepping “sponsors”? If so, then AA may well work for you.

But if you’re a member of the other 97%?

Chances are you’re in that demographic since those who are AA material aren’t the folks who subscribe to our newsletter.

So who are you? Let’s leave it at smarter, more sensitive, more successful, and much more independent than those anxious to join a cult.

No, we don’t have a magic bullet or wand or pixey dust – we leave that to others – nor do we have any other one-size-fits-all solution. What we do have is a variety of tools, skills, and experience, and we’re good at working with you to create the individual solution that will work for you.

Time to get a life instead of a label? Then it’s also time to call!

Links to Success:

Our Expanded Program Description

“How Can You Possibly Cure My Years of Alcohol Abuse in Just 5 Days?”

The Real “Steps” to Overcoming Alcohol Abuse

Smart Women and Alcohol Abuse

Things You Didn’t Know About Alcohol #6

Most people with normal drinking habits who have gastric bypass surgery develop a serious alcohol problem within 6 months! Why? Since they can no longer self-medicate with food, they substitute alcohol which provides the same relief on much smaller amounts and which also hits the blood stream much faster and harder than it did pre-surgery. Side-effects are similar with lap band surgery.

We received the following e-mail and knew that many of you can relate to the problem of being stuck in the “contemplation hell” the writer describes. We thank her for permission to reprint it here.

“Dear Mary Ellen and Ed,

I am finally hitting send on this email I drafted Sunday.  I drank two bottles of wine last night, woke up “on time” and could have gotten up but just could not.

Instead I cried and cried. I have had SO much change happen in my life in the last few years and even last few months.  I felt miserable. I went into work late today even though I could have made it on time. I needed the time to cry and regroup. Here’s what I drafted earlier this week…

Alright….maybe we should talk.

First of all, it is easier for me to send this email right now than to dial the phone number which is plugged into my phone right now ready to hit “call”. Why?  I’ll share a couple of the 5 million conversations that I have had with myself in the last ten minutes of “stalling”.

This Newsletter is great, (November 13th) the Newsletter you sent last week (November 6th) really got me too.  I related to the “type” of client you work with…usually smarter than the average bear. This week I relate to both of your points.

So, it got me thinking and asking…”What AM I afraid of?” and, “Why haven’t I actually called?”

I almost did on Thursday. Fear. Fear of what? I think part of me has felt that nothing will work/help and your program seems too good to be true and what if I invest the time and money and it doesn’t work? OR, I am really not ready/able to apply it (been there done that in other areas of life as well as related to alcohol abuse).

And, believe me I have read your website, the testimonials etc.  I have even considered asking a good friend for a plane ticket and hotel stay so I can do it…he has myriad miles and points and has offered the use of them anytime-it would just be a matter of asking and I don’t necessarily have to share the reason.

 OK, that said…these last two emails have resonated with me on a new level of thinking, “ok, I think they DO get it and maybe they CAN help.”  AND, I will be completely honest with myself and with you, I am afraid of making the  call because I am afraid of you holding me to following through–which I
clearly have not done on my own, so I am not sure that I can.

Yet, of course I want someone to care enough to do so all at the same time.

Crazy-making, I know.

And, I know that life can be better and fine without alcohol abuse, I have lived that life before…really never drank other than a few times a year until in the last 7 years (I am 37). So, I am surprised that I am in this boat now. But, whatever, I am here now so how do I deal with it?  I have looked at many options.

So, I am writing and I am asking to arrange a phone call with you.  One of my 5 million conversations with myself had me ask, “So, if/when you call, what are you going to say? what do you need to hear?” This is what also had me divert to writing first…I need to be prepared.  This is why I am asking to arrange a time to talk and can you tell me what information I should be prepared to talk about.

This sounds silly as I type it because I am actually extremely outgoing, can speak off the cuff about virtually anything and work in communications–I am rarely at a loss for words. I also realize that I need to really trust you and do not want this conversation to be a sales pitch.  Sorry, have to be brutally honest.  Like I said, I have looked at your site, read the emails etc. etc. so the next step is a conversation.

I am not sure that you take calls on Sunday, if so, I can talk today or we can plan a time on a weekday.

Thank you for listening.

T.

*gulp* hitting ‘send’ “

So, we arranged the call. And we’re talking and writing. No pressure. No time frame. No sales pitch. And someday, when we’re all ready, well, we’ll see.

The really important part for you, if you know you could have written that letter, is that we mean it when we say that the next step is only a conversation. And that can start with an e-mail or a call. And, yes, you will talk to one of us – no sales department, no ex-clients, no scare tactics, no musts or can’ts.

And yes, we’ve been there too – I with my own drinking problems in my late 30s and early 40s and Mary Ellen with the depressing job of finding real help for a family member.

Why would you – or anyone else for that matter – ever agree to 30, 60, or 90 days of “rehab”?

Yes, we know that this is what “everyone does”. We also know it doesn’t work. Mostly never has, never will. But it sure does make a lot of money for all the wrong people.

Think aboiut, please. Going “off to rehab” is like going to the spa to lose weight. In that environment anyone can lose weight, or stay sober, but eventually you have to go back home and you haven’t acquired a singal tool or insight. Just the label of “diseased and powerless alcoholic” and the admonitions “don’t drink” and “go to AA”.

Is it any wonder that traditional treatment clients have a “failure” rate that exceeds 95%?

Then there are all of the other confidentiality issues:

•     How are you going to explain disappearing for 30, 60, or 90 days?
•     What about staff (mostly former and failed clients)?
•     What about other clients?
•     What about you PUBLIC insurance records (no folks, insurance records aren’t confidential and your shiney new “alcoholic” label will  follow you for the rest of your life)?

There are plenty of other reasons to avoid residential treatment and AA/12 Step based myths and indoctrination but this should be more than enough to have you looking for real help, not just another “King’s New Clothes” con game.

Real Help? Real Tools? Real Follow-Up? Real Privacy?

Right Here! Right Now!

Links to Success:

Our Expanded Program Description

“How Can You Possibly Cure My Years of Alcohol Abuse in Just 5 Days?”

The Real “Steps” to Overcoming Alcohol Abuse

Smart Women and Alcohol Abuse

Ten Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Sent My Brother Off To Rehab;

Things You Don’t Know About Alcohol #4:

Until 1916 Whiskey and Brandy were listed as scientifically approved medications in the U.S. Pharmacopeia.

Tired of being the “Frog In The Cooking Pot”?

This old psychologists’ analogy refers to the fact that if you toss a frog into a pot of hot water he (or she) will jump back out. But if you put him in a pot of cool water and gradually raise the temperature, he will remain there until he’s cooked to death.

A lot of our clients are using alcohol to compensate for rising temperatures in their personal cooking pots, but have decided it’s time to get out before it kills them.

That’s right. A lot of us use alcohol to make intolerable lives seem tolerable.

Is that what you’re doing?

If it is, then the assertiveness training component of our work with you will get you off the burner.

Surprising as it may seem, many of our clients lack assertiveness in their personal lives and alcohol abuse has become both a hiding place and a passive aggressive weapon.

Trouble is – alcohol abuse invites aggression from one’s spouse and that cycle keeps escalating and the temperature keeps rising until…

Your choices? Either exit the cooking pot with as much dignity as you can muster, or learn how to turn down the heat. We’ll help you navigate the options or teach you how to combine them.

Ready to escape being boiled alive?

Now that Thanksgiving is over…

…and December holidays still lie ahead.

Really – isn’t it time to at least schedule some time to fix your alcohol related problems?

This year is unique in that Christmas and New Years both fall on Sunday. That means you can spend the week before Christmas leaving your alcohol abuse behind – pretty good holiday present for everyone.

Or use the week between the holidays to work with us and get the New Year off to a very good start.

Or do what Hemmingway suggested and “do sober what you promised to do drunk” and spend the first week in January putting some backbone into that New Year’s resolution.

We’re available to support any of those options – options that’ll make all of 2012 a far better year than any you have had in recent memory (or blackout).

We know that the thought of changing scares you, and that it’s hard to imagine a life without your alcohol crutch, but isn’t it time to start living based on what you know and not what you feel?

Trust us just a little – learn to manage your thoughts and behaviors (that’s what CBT is all about) and your feelings will follow.

And a “Thank You!” to all of you who called and e-mailed over the holiday to check in, thank us, up-date us, and, yes, to get  a bit of holiday support. We’re always glad to hear from you!

Links to Success:

Our Expanded Program Description

“How Can You Possibly Cure My Years of Alcohol Abuse in Just 5 Days?”

The Real “Steps” to Overcoming Alcohol Abuse

Smart Women and Alcohol Abuse

Ten Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Sent My Brother Off To Rehab;

The Bucket of Crabs or Why AA and Al-Anon are Bad For Your Health.

Things you didn’t know about alcohol #3:

In 1895 Anheuser-Busch launched Malt-Nutrine, a 1.9% alcohol content beer prescribed by physicians as a tonic for pregnant women and a nutritional beverage for children.