Rehab Or Quit On Your Own, Which Has The Best Results?

It’s a fair question. The answer isn’t all that difficult to decide if you sort out the real options. The trouble is, when we start trying to figure out what to do we’re usually in such a mess that we don’t always make good decisions. That’s the real fly in the ointment.

So, in the interest of full disclosure, I will confess that I quit on my own when I was 41. But it took me a long time to do it. It shouldn’t have, but there wasn’t any real help available – just the same old failed Minnesota/AA/12 Step Model.

So what’s new?

Actually, over the 25 years that have elapsed since I muddled my way to a better life quite a bit has changed – not that you’d know it by visiting web sites or traditional programs or reading the industry hype.

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We offer all of the following:

• Luxury!
• Privacy!
• Confidentiality!
• Individuality!
• Effectiveness!
• Affordability!

What more could you ask for?

That’s right – we offer everything anyone else claims to, but in much less time, and at far less cost, much more choice – all under your control – not some program’s control – and with successful outcome rates ten to twenty times higher.

We know it’s easy to make those claims but we’re prepared to back them up, one at a time.

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Couples!

Several times a year we work with couples who both have alcohol problems (as we also do with couples where only one is the “designated client”). We can do this very effectively when no one else can.

Why?

First, because we work as a team. If you’ve every been to “couples counseling” you know that it almost immediately degenerates into a two on one blame session and whoever is “it” storms out never to return again. But with us that triangulation problem never comes up.

Another pont is that between us we have the “roles” covered too. I used to have the alcohol problem and Mary Ellen got to be the concerned family member designated to find help for her brother.

Next, alcohol abuse always exists within a context and spouses are, after all, a major component of anyone’s day-to-day living. You can’t fix your drinking problem without changing the way you live your life and that means, as spouses, you either change together, go your separate ways, or keep on drinking.

If you want to end the alcohol abuse then spouses have to be part of the solution, or there isn’t going to be one.

Why don’t other programs include spouses? Or treat couples?

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A recent client from Chicago said:

“I visited dozens of websites before I called you. I called because yours was the only one that actually told me how you propose to help me, and the only one to tell me the cost!”

He went on to note six other important points:

• When I called, I actually talked to both of you. Not some volunteer, flunky, client, or marketing department;
• When I was in L.A. on business you met with me at no charge to further discuss whether you were the right match for me;
• You’re both very smart – no one I talked to in any of the traditional programs was;
• As promised, there was no pressure, no pitch, no magic, no crap!
• You’ve both been available for follow-up as you said you would be;
• I think you’re the only people around who actually provide what you say you will.

Those are all points we think are important, and we think you should too, and, yes, no one else offers any of that.

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Think!

Mary Ellen writes:

  “A week before Christmas my brother Jim, was diagnosed with a very extensive cancer. We don’t know the type of cancer yet, but we do know that the tumors are large and in many organs. He hardly had any symptoms at all, so this was a real shock to him and to all of us in the family.

He went from assuming he would live a long and interesting life, like our parents have, to thinking very seriously about end-of-life issues.  I am not sharing this for any sympathy, but to make sure you all realize how very fragile our lives really are.

Many of you read our newsletter every week. For some of you that may be all the help you ever need. For others, you may be assuming that there is lots of time to fix your drinking problem and start living again, so you wait and think about getting help.

You haven’t called – you assume there’s always time for that.  I want to tell you that the time is now. Don’t wait any longer. Make your life really count. Start living again.”

We can still help you. Give us a call now.

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Merry Christmas!

Our favorite holiday videos

First, Jingle Bell Goats

Then: T-Mobile’s Fun

And now…our gift to you – The Great Question:
Who is in charge of your life?

Yes, it’s a personal question – but it’s the most important one we can each ask and answer. Please consider the following:

It’s Christmas once again, and the New Year lies just a week away, and this season always brings questions:

• Where did the year go?
• What did I accomplish?
• What problems continue?
• What problems got worse?
• Why didn’t I fix what I said I would?
• How can the upcoming year be different?

As you think through these questions about the past year, isn’t it time to also consider how you have disappointed yourself, and others, by failing to resolve problems you could have fixed?

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With the holidays nearly upon us, we are coming into the most stressful time of the year for many people.

Over-drinking goes hand-in-hand with stress and attempts at stress reduction. But with alcohol the stress gets worse and ratchets up the stress in other family members, who usually make sure you know about it.

Why not try something different this holiday season? If lots of parties stress you out, don’t go to so many of them. If family members stress you out, why not go away for the holiday, or decline family invitations, or strictly limit the time spent with these people.

I know, you couldn’t do that, they’re family!

But really, who says you can’t? You are an adult and it’s time to start thinking about spending your finite time on this earth in ways that make you happy and relaxed, rather than pleasing everybody else.

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Damn it, Scruffy!
Get Your Head Out Of The Sand!!

Mary Ellen’s Scruffy is a great office dog, but he’s a lousy role model.

Isn’t it time you stopped emulating him and started getting a life?

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We received the following e-mail and knew that many of you can relate to the problem of being stuck in the “contemplation hell” the writer describes. We thank her for permission to reprint it here.

“Dear Mary Ellen and Ed,

I am finally hitting send on this email I drafted Sunday.  I drank two bottles of wine last night, woke up “on time” and could have gotten up but just could not.

Instead I cried and cried. I have had SO much change happen in my life in the last few years and even last few months.  I felt miserable. I went into work late today even though I could have made it on time. I needed the time to cry and regroup. Here’s what I drafted earlier this week…

Alright….maybe we should talk.

First of all, it is easier for me to send this email right now than to dial the phone number which is plugged into my phone right now ready to hit “call”. Why?  I’ll share a couple of the 5 million conversations that I have had with myself in the last ten minutes of “stalling”.

This Newsletter is great, (November 13th) the Newsletter you sent last week (November 6th) really got me too.  I related to the “type” of client you work with…usually smarter than the average bear. This week I relate to both of your points.

So, it got me thinking and asking…”What AM I afraid of?” and, “Why haven’t I actually called?”

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Tired of being the “Frog In The Cooking Pot”?

This old psychologists’ analogy refers to the fact that if you toss a frog into a pot of hot water he (or she) will jump back out. But if you put him in a pot of cool water and gradually raise the temperature, he will remain there until he’s cooked to death.

A lot of our clients are using alcohol to compensate for rising temperatures in their personal cooking pots, but have decided it’s time to get out before it kills them.

That’s right. A lot of us use alcohol to make intolerable lives seem tolerable.

Is that what you’re doing?

If it is, then the assertiveness training component of our work with you will get you off the burner.

Surprising as it may seem, many of our clients lack assertiveness in their personal lives and alcohol abuse has become both a hiding place and a passive aggressive weapon.

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