Comments on: The Bucket of Crabs, or Why AA and Alanon Are Bad For Your Health http://www.non12step.com/articles/treatment-for-families/106-the-bucket-of-crabs Thu, 02 Feb 2012 16:29:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Ed http://www.non12step.com/articles/treatment-for-families/106-the-bucket-of-crabs/comment-page-1#comment-71103 Ed Tue, 24 Jan 2012 20:25:11 +0000 http://74.53.77.28/~non12ste/?p=222#comment-71103 While it is tre that AA has helped some people find and maintain sobriety, whatever that is, it is also true that it has harmed far more. And with a less than 3% success rate it's hardly the miracle it's adherents claim. Good to remember that most of those whose "stories" are told in the Big Book died drunk..... While it is tre that AA has helped some people find and maintain sobriety, whatever that is, it is also true that it has harmed far more. And with a less than 3% success rate it’s hardly the miracle it’s adherents claim. Good to remember that most of those whose “stories” are told in the Big Book died drunk…..

]]> By: Kevin Enslin http://www.non12step.com/articles/treatment-for-families/106-the-bucket-of-crabs/comment-page-1#comment-66708 Kevin Enslin Fri, 02 Dec 2011 15:11:00 +0000 http://74.53.77.28/~non12ste/?p=222#comment-66708 Interesting site. Went to A.A., worked the steps and studied the literature. If one would look to the history of A.A. you can see for yourself the indoctrination process. Even the founders fell for the propaganda. Considering that they were all end-stage alcoholics and drug addicts it is easy to see why they "swallowed the cool-aid". My big complaint is the lack of or resistance to, having studies done which show the "real" outcomes of A.A. My guess from examining the peripheral studies is this is a destructive fellowship which causes harm to a majority of the population it is purported to assist. Interesting site. Went to A.A., worked the steps and studied the literature. If one would look to the history of A.A. you can see for yourself the indoctrination process. Even the founders fell for the propaganda. Considering that they were all end-stage alcoholics and drug addicts it is easy to see why they “swallowed the cool-aid”. My big complaint is the lack of or resistance to, having studies done which show the “real” outcomes of A.A. My guess from examining the peripheral studies is this is a destructive fellowship which causes harm to a majority of the population it is purported to assist.

]]> By: charlie http://www.non12step.com/articles/treatment-for-families/106-the-bucket-of-crabs/comment-page-1#comment-61100 charlie Mon, 17 Oct 2011 22:03:40 +0000 http://74.53.77.28/~non12ste/?p=222#comment-61100 I like this bucket of crabs analogy, there is a lot of truth in it. Sadly many groups do foster wallowing in fear, guilt and complacency over the realities that genuine change and a truly full-life require. I like this bucket of crabs analogy, there is a lot of truth in it. Sadly many groups do foster wallowing in fear, guilt and complacency over the realities that genuine change and a truly full-life require.

]]> By: stuckwithcrabholes http://www.non12step.com/articles/treatment-for-families/106-the-bucket-of-crabs/comment-page-1#comment-52766 stuckwithcrabholes Tue, 27 Sep 2011 00:37:50 +0000 http://74.53.77.28/~non12ste/?p=222#comment-52766 Hello, I am currently stuck in a household with 2 alanone's. Believe me they try to make my life a living hell because I drink. They are all in on it, two sisters, they try so hard to break me everyday. I have developed a tough skin and that's all they have contributed to my life. If anyone's interested in talking about a similar situation feel free to contact me rmad_303@yahoo.com Hello, I am currently stuck in a household with 2 alanone’s. Believe me they try to make my life a living hell because I drink. They are all in on it, two sisters, they try so hard to break me everyday. I have developed a tough skin and that’s all they have contributed to my life. If anyone’s interested in talking about a similar situation feel free to contact me rmad_303@yahoo.com

]]> By: September 4, 2011 Newsletter http://www.non12step.com/articles/treatment-for-families/106-the-bucket-of-crabs/comment-page-1#comment-45725 September 4, 2011 Newsletter Tue, 06 Sep 2011 13:10:25 +0000 http://74.53.77.28/~non12ste/?p=222#comment-45725 [...] the The Bucket of Crabs  [...] [...] the The Bucket of Crabs  [...]

]]> By: Alexander http://www.non12step.com/articles/treatment-for-families/106-the-bucket-of-crabs/comment-page-1#comment-45299 Alexander Sun, 04 Sep 2011 18:15:43 +0000 http://74.53.77.28/~non12ste/?p=222#comment-45299 Responding to PUHLEASE "...if you stick to the 12 steps, and do them, and obviously you live them for the rest of your life, you can live a much peaceful life," Anyone can come up with a mantra and tell you that if you stick by it you will be much happier. Here's one, "Just don't drink and stick to this logic and you will be much happier." See how easy it is? The problem is that there truly is a "bucket of crabs" mentality in AA. I used to be a participant, and then one evening during a "veterans" meeting, I started to hear these stories of people who had been 'coming back' for 5, 10, 15 years. The meetings had become their social structure and had become more or less a dating club because they had pretty much damaged any normal relationships they had. They all took turns relapsing. That's when I realized if I was going to help myself, I couldn't do it within AA. They were literally holding each other back from ever fully recovering by turning AA into a type of social club. I'm happy for whomever is helped by it, but it was not for me. Responding to PUHLEASE

“…if you stick to the 12 steps, and do them, and obviously you live them for the rest of your life, you can live a much peaceful life,”

Anyone can come up with a mantra and tell you that if you stick by it you will be much happier. Here’s one, “Just don’t drink and stick to this logic and you will be much happier.” See how easy it is? The problem is that there truly is a “bucket of crabs” mentality in AA. I used to be a participant, and then one evening during a “veterans” meeting, I started to hear these stories of people who had been ‘coming back’ for 5, 10, 15 years. The meetings had become their social structure and had become more or less a dating club because they had pretty much damaged any normal relationships they had. They all took turns relapsing. That’s when I realized if I was going to help myself, I couldn’t do it within AA. They were literally holding each other back from ever fully recovering by turning AA into a type of social club. I’m happy for whomever is helped by it, but it was not for me.

]]> By: August 21, 2011 Newsletter http://www.non12step.com/articles/treatment-for-families/106-the-bucket-of-crabs/comment-page-1#comment-42218 August 21, 2011 Newsletter Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:04:38 +0000 http://74.53.77.28/~non12ste/?p=222#comment-42218 [...] The Bucket of Crabs or Why AA and Al-Anon are Bad For Your Health. [...] [...] The Bucket of Crabs or Why AA and Al-Anon are Bad For Your Health. [...]

]]> By: admin http://www.non12step.com/articles/treatment-for-families/106-the-bucket-of-crabs/comment-page-1#comment-34287 admin Mon, 27 Jun 2011 15:25:48 +0000 http://74.53.77.28/~non12ste/?p=222#comment-34287 Judy: You can try to do this without going to a program. Get a good book on CBT, such as Three Minute Therapy ( for your self-esteem issues) Judy:
You can try to do this without going to a program. Get a good book on CBT, such as Three Minute Therapy ( for your self-esteem issues)

]]> By: Judy http://www.non12step.com/articles/treatment-for-families/106-the-bucket-of-crabs/comment-page-1#comment-34182 Judy Sun, 26 Jun 2011 18:58:24 +0000 http://74.53.77.28/~non12ste/?p=222#comment-34182 I want to apply all of your dynamics but I am without a job.. I cannot afford California..I live in a poverty state--Florida. I do not accep the "AA" philosophy". I would not be caught dead with many of them. I respect and admire the 12 steps but I cannot and will not believe I am like them. No "DUI'S, arrests,loss of jobs. I have lost my self esteem and I am not in control of what I always believed in. What do u advise for a woman who raised 3 kids,worked her entire life and now finds no assistance?? BTW--I am on bio-identical hormones. Eat well etc.. Judy I want to apply all of your dynamics but I am without a job..
I cannot afford California..I live in a poverty state–Florida.

I do not accep the “AA” philosophy”. I would not be caught dead with many of them.
I respect and admire the 12 steps but I cannot and will not believe I am like them.
No “DUI’S, arrests,loss of jobs.
I have lost my self esteem and I am not in control of what I always believed in.
What do u advise for a woman who raised 3 kids,worked her entire life and now finds no assistance??

BTW–I am on bio-identical hormones. Eat well etc..

Judy

]]> By: Carol Mulch Korhumel http://www.non12step.com/articles/treatment-for-families/106-the-bucket-of-crabs/comment-page-1#comment-32150 Carol Mulch Korhumel Sun, 12 Jun 2011 19:46:03 +0000 http://74.53.77.28/~non12ste/?p=222#comment-32150 I don't know if I am free to respond to PUHLEASE's response, but I have to say something even if it is only to myself. The reason AA and Alanon has been around so long is because they guarantee membership by stimulating the desires they are trying to get rid of. I was heavily involved with Alanon and AA for many years. I listened to the members INSURE they would be back by glamorizing their stories of drinking over and over again. Much laughter ensued as they each "topped" the other's story. When the real world objected to their dangerous behavior,they felt bad about their behavior but they knew that if they returned to a meeting, they could get a "laugh" and feel better. "It works when you work it, keep coming back" was at the end of every meeting and you bet, they all came back for a laugh. PUHLEASE, as an Alanoner or AAer you have one and only one identity, you are a member of AA or Alanon. There is nothing more to you, no other aspect to your life. Look it up in their books, it's all right there. This is a cult that has gone mainstream. I don’t know if I am free to respond to PUHLEASE’s response, but I have to say something even if it is only to myself. The reason AA and Alanon has been around so long is because they guarantee membership by stimulating the desires they are trying to get rid of. I was heavily involved with Alanon and AA for many years. I listened to the members INSURE they would be back by glamorizing their stories of drinking over and over again. Much laughter ensued as they each “topped” the other’s story. When the real world objected to their dangerous behavior,they felt bad about their behavior but they knew that if they returned to a meeting, they could get a “laugh” and feel better. “It works when you work it, keep coming back” was at the end of every meeting and you bet, they all came back for a laugh. PUHLEASE, as an Alanoner or AAer you have one and only one identity, you are a member of AA or Alanon. There is nothing more to you, no other aspect to your life. Look it up in their books, it’s all right there. This is a cult that has gone mainstream.

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